with the pre-emptive hindsight that the decision to leave has left to me, i have realized many things ( Read more... )

if i try, i'm halfway to triumph,
if i sigh, i'm halfway to silence.
i'm alive, and i'm halfway to dyin
and i'm halfway to laughing, halfway to crying.

there really isn't much that i should be saying, typing, or even thinking at this point. it's been a week or more of a compeletly uncomfortable state of mind ( Read more... )

these fucking days ( Read more... )

life is just a lie
with an f in it in it
and death is definite.

but after i scratch the surface
i never seen the calm before the storm act so nervous

when a boy writes off the world it's done with sloppy misspelled words
but when a girl writes off the world it's done with cursive.

i'm searching for her.

can you hear me, love?

( devil left the party with an angel, and love left the party with greed, innocence left the party with hateful, and you left the party with me. )

she passed away at 8:15 this morning. after more then a full day of no rest and my mind spinning endlessly, it was finally over. but i've found i've just begun. second guessing myself for not picking up immediately on saturday and going to be with her. thinking about the impact of this result. questioning my own resolve towards my own inevitable ( Read more... )

i would kill for someone to talk to right now ( Read more... )

last night, two hours after having passed out drunk, i recieved a phone call. the doctors at the home where my grandmother is had called my father and told him to go in, because she wasn't going to make it through the night ( Read more... )

an eventful few days... i'm going to just do this in list form ( Read more... )