so its been a while since i updated this......what else is new ( Read more... )

i talked to tims ma tonight. she told me she heard from him a couple days ago...so its good to know hes still breathing....still pissed off b/c i feel betrayed....after all hes done to me...he then fucking betrays me...what the FUCK DID I EVER DO TO HIM BUT FUCKING SHOW HIM I FUCKIN CARE ( Read more... )

i want you to ignore everything writtin before this entry....not that you will, b/c you don't exist b/c no one reads this. which is good ( Read more... )

so i give up. i guess its about time. he doesn't seem to want to see me...let alone make the effort to even fucking talk to me. i've emailed him the last 5 days now in a row...no response so fuck it. im sick of feeling like a fool and im sick of caring so much about a person that doesn't seem to care back.

im sick of being sick of shit in general.

why me...seriously. fuck me. im so sick of feeling like this. sooooo like im always with travis....he doesn't call me, and i don't call him...the one time he did call me...i was at travis's, and he told me to call him when i got home, so i did...and he decided not to answer. that made me feel good....i've emailed him for the past 3-4 days now.... ( Read more... )

so i see "amanda" still hangs around...um great. now i don't understand why tim has any right to be mad about me being around a guy that wants me...when hes around a girl that wants him. fuck that fucking bullshit. eh. i hate the name "amanda" doesn't matter whos mouth its coming from...doesn't matter what amanda they're talking about...i just hate ( Read more... )

i don't even know what to type right now. i told tim what happened lastnight. i knew he'd be mad at about, but fuck...what does he want me to do about it? i felt worthless enough before this happened, and believe me, now i know i am...and he had no problem pushing it in my face , again and again by repeating the fact that it happened. and this ( Read more... )

im worthless

so lastnight....i was home til quarter after 7, and my mum asks me when im going to actually start acting like i live here....err what??? I'm the only one that does shit around the house. I do the dishes everyday, and I do laundry and vaccum...FUCK that bullshit...and lately all shes been doing is bitching about how my sister leaves when she doesnt ( Read more... )

so i guess he is ignoring me...

i give up