lets see....day2 without smoking pot....it was good actually. kept busy. went to chesters, saw matty...fuckin queer. went to jessis....heidi got another piercing...christ that girl gets light headed doing everything. if she'd take her goddamn pills like she fucking is supposta....i bet she wouldn't have that problem fucking EVER. then went to ( Read more... )

tims never on now. i could prolly stay on all day til the afternoon n not talk to him. hes not on at night. i dun ever talk to him anymore. the last time i got to actually talk to him was prolly a week ago. it only makes me wonder if he found someone else. i tell him to call me and he doesn't do that. i dunno whether to just leave him be or to ( Read more... )

sooooooooo....umm yeah. matt got the air let out of his tires lastnight....odd how we were all gathered at his house talkin about how we wanted to do that....and it happens over night? I guess this is the 2nd time its happened this week. believe me....it wasn't me or heidi. i won't ever touch anybodys shit...no matter how much they piss me off or ( Read more... )

i don't know whats going on lately. i ventured up to my room lastnight probably 10 to 1, cried myself to sleep....just to wake up an feel like this....which would be complete shit. I don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even human.....I'd like to know if anyone else feels the way I do that gets you to the point of rock ( Read more... )

i wish i was better at this stuff. i wish i was different sometimes. maybe everything would have turned out differently if i was better.

I never mean to piss him off, or for him to get the impression that he is making me mad/I'm mad at him. I'm never really mad at him unless it's when he promises me something that he doesn't do ( Read more... )

sometimes i don't know what to do. Lately I feel like I'm always going to be alone. Thinking about when tim was here usta make me feel happy, but lately it just makes me feel even more empty. I haven't seen him in 7 months so sometimes i feel like its never gonna happen, where i'll be able to see him again. I want to go down there, but I don't know ( Read more... )

i hate it when he tells me he wrote somn about me. don't tell me unless you're going to show me. he said it got erased, so he typed it again, got erased, typed it again, computer froze n yada yada yada. it doesn't matter i guess. just thought it'd be nice to see what he says about me. i mean i write about him almost everyday in this thing. i've ( Read more... )

lastnight i was at travis' past 2...went to heidis, n cam home. travis has a mouth...that needs to stop. he was like, you prolly won't like me after tonight' i was like dude if you just shut up, there'd be nothing not to like. him n his friends talk a lot of shit, and me n heidi were sittin there laughin, cuz they don't even know. so i was sittin ( Read more... )

so i never got hit on as much as i did lastnight....ever. hes definately a boy whos not afraid to say what he wants lol. we're gonna play pool today. Im really likin travis, but i don't want him thinkin that im liking him in the way he wants me to ( Read more... )