I'm going to attempt to use Livejournal again.  Tumblr is just too open to constantly be writing about my day and my thoughts and all that stuff.  I just need to vent and analyze.  I just don't really have any inspiration anymore.  I've lost my muses.

My psychologist told me to start writing more.  Yeah I have a psychologist now, I'm bonkers.  I ( Read more... )

I want to start using this again, but I don't think I will.  Tonight is just one of those nights.  One of those nights where all I can do is look at the veins in my wrist.  Where all I can think about is how easy it would be.

I just keep watching these movies.  Wondering.  Hoping.  Letting it go.

I don't know how you don't understand this.  I don't know how I'm gonna get myself out of this mess.  For once I am in a mess I didn't create myself.  But still I have to find a way out of this without anyone getting hurt.  I'm just going to end up paying a bigger price in the end.  It is what it is.  You will always win and I will always lose.  I ( Read more... )

I'll bitch tomorrow, too tired right now.

I really need to get away for a few days.  Just throw my phone into a lake and not turn on my computer for a week and just get away.  Maybe go camping for a few days or something.  This just isn't working right now.  I'm not excited about anything at all.  I see all my hopes and dreams slipping away from me and I could not care less.  I just want ( Read more... )

And you keep whispering the same story to yourself "I'll be unhappy now because that'll make me happy later. Because that's how a story works." So your happiness will always happen later, never now. Life isn't a story. Life is chaos.

Let's all get back to normal.  Because normal for us is insanity for everyone else.

rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant ( Read more... )

To change someone, you have to destroy who they used to be.  That's what makes it so much harder to change back.  Our experiences are what change us and since we can't erase our past, it makes it that much harder to be who we used to be.  We grew up.  We know better now.  Ignorance is bliss and life is what kills our joy.  I really wish we could ( Read more... )

When you called me last night my heart skipped a beat and my stomach filled with butterflies and when you said hello I could barely keep myself from sighing out loud and when you told me about your day I laughed so hard I almost fell off my bed and when you told me you loved my laugh I smiled so much my cheeks hurt and when we said goodbye I missed ( Read more... )

Makin a supa secret blog that nobody will ever be able to find mwahahahaha

BAI