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how?
how do i not appear crazy? how do i let some things go? how do you let go of someone you love, when you love the wrong person? how do i even know it is wrong? how can i not second-guess myself? how does one make the right choices? life has so many options on how to live it, how to behave, how people percieve you. how do i appear less passive ( Read more... ) -
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i envy heroes their stegnth. lately i feel like i am becoming weaker and weaker, and thereby ashamed of that weakness, because what if, dear me, i enjoy it ( Read more... ) -
Italian Cell Phone
I will NOT be taking my cingular phone with me abroad (8183988854)!! So, as for anyone wishing to call me in Italy, my Italian cell phone number is ( Read more... ) -
dream one
dream that i was in a room that was a part of a zoo, just observing, but in the same room with the animals. a tanish-white ferret suddenly was chased by a small snake (the zoo poeple had made a mistake and they werent supposed to be put together) around and around. The snake caugt and bit the ferret. As it was a small snake it was not fatal ( ( Read more... ) -
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i am ashamed of myself. of my games. i am ashamed at how realy my feelings seem when they are so strong, and yet they change almost weekly. i cant trust myself in that way. i am ashamed at wanting things that should be forbidden. i am scared to want to share so much with one person. the feeling of WANTING, what i want, scares me. what i want ( Read more... ) -
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emotions are such a tricky thing. they are sneaky. they dont let you win. they mess things up, and change your mind so easily. with one slight crack you can just break down, cave, because it feels so right ust to experience th emotions. but then ( Read more... ) -
dancing drunk
emily. erin. rachel. katie. melissa. stefanie. mcmahon. heminger. smokey. all these girls, bodies to touch, moves to learn, dancing in beauty and feign of desire, and i dont feel a thing. i like the train, i like the girls, a 'yea, id make out with you, you got a hot bod, but this is all for fun'. i like men and the feel of their bodies too much ( Read more... ) -
passions
i hate this school and how it affects me. oh, no, its not all that bad, i love pacific and college and all, i just feel so friggin uninspired. i want something to challenge me, i want to feel more important than my own personal daily schedule. i had always felt there was something more missing, always had the feeling of getting lost somehow in ( Read more... ) -
semester start
so, i have had the wonderful realization that having my own room at tridelt also means i get to sleep naked whenever i want. and i have a chain lock. and i could totally become a recluse, but that is too easy for me and i should challenge myself and be bold (aha!), make more friends. i am just too easily discouraged and i hate the way people ( Read more... )