I guess I have a lot of explaining to do. I sort of fell off of the face of the earth once I got back from France. I think I pushed David away. In France, and before, I was too high strung. So, I'm living in New York alone until he decides to come--if he decides to come. Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I realize I'd rather live with his ( Read more... )

Pain is love.

I'm laying bed, ready to fall asleep because this week has been draining. As it should be--I'm down to the wire. I signed up for my last semester of college this morning--I feel scared, but this is a good type of fear. Its liberating. I was April fooled so many fucking times yesterday. I did get to go to the MFA, and saw some beautiful pieces ( Read more... )

Everything is falling into place.

Being a twenty-something is so much harder than being an adolescent. Now, you really have to find yourself because you're in the real world but you barely know it. It's like everyone around is finding themselves, or at least trying. At first, you don't know what you want. But then, you know exactly what you want in life, and it's far too much-- ( Read more... )

Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.

For the past two years I've tried to get an internship at MTV. Two of my cousins work for the company, and are very connected. Freshman year, I was ineligible to get an internship for credit. Sophomore year I applied when the deadline passed and no positions were left. I'm worried because my first two years of school have been so focused on ( Read more... )

I was being stupid. When I close my eyes he's there. He makes everything amazing with those three words. So I'm realizing this, on the record, honestly, simply-stated, and I don't care if I'm only twenty and "immature" and crazy: he is the one.

My head is spinning because I realized I'm unhappy sometimes. The long distance portion of the long distance relationship is draining my energy. I genuinely miss the perfection of being together, and I'm getting panicky because times change, things change, people change. I don't think I can change much more. I can't; I wont let myself. Or ( Read more... )

Whoever said change is good probably wasn't talking about being deeply in love. Its the worst feeling in the world to know that two of your biggest dreams contradict each other. All anyone ever wanted was to be happy--truly, genuinely happy. I can push the glamor, the fast-paced life, and the wildness aside. Nothing even matters when you're ( Read more... )