Well, looks like I'll be headin' out of the Shire for a bit.

I'll be leaving the ranch in the capable hands of Nathan, a young but responsible hobbit.

Seems like my granddaughter has been gettin' into all sorts of trouble lately - runnin' away, gettin' kidnapped, cursin', gettin' fed antacids...

My son/daughter has asked me to head to Minas ( Read more... )

Looks like I'll be stayin' here in the Shire for a long time to come.

Well I've just got back from my trip, and it looks like I'll soon be headin' back out.

It goes kinda like this:

On the way into town, I grabbed a few things, since I'd planned on invitin' my favourite lady for a picnic in the countryside ( Read more... )

Seeing as my whoreson was kind enough to buy me a new horse for Pappy's Day, I figured I'd take good old Dirty Harry for a ride ( Read more... )

Well, after all this time, it looks like someone's gonna make an honest woman outta my son.

Congratulations to the both of ya. I'm not even too pissed that the suitor didn't ask Issy's pappy for his blessin'.

Seems like I've pissed somebody off. He's wonderin' how I got back here after Sauron did me in ( Read more... )

Elendil, the acting Steward of Gondor, has been gone for days. One day, a few weeks ago, he stopped his patrols. Nobody saw him leave, nobody has seen him since, and nobody knows where he is...

Since Boromir is still healin', some folks, including my pretty lil' Whoreson have figured that I should fill in as Steward of Gondor.

Damnit, this sounds like a fine idea.

The King can take some time out for some rest and relaxin', and Boromir can heal his wounds.

Narrows eyes, takes cigarillo from mouth, spits.I'm gonna be keepin' an eye on ( Read more... )

Well, with everybody stakin' claims these days, I reckon I'd better do something as well.

I don't need nothin' for myself, but I got my new little lady a present.

Tips hat

After all these years, something or someone has resurrected me. And I can see it's about time. Because these days, dyin' ain't much of a livin'.

I've come back to help whip Gondor into shape. We're gonna paint it red and rename it Hell. I see my son is a whore. That's OK, I like whores. My grandsons are pussies. No comment on that one ( Read more... )