I was Robbed at the Lifetime Achievement Awards

[elhoserboy]

There is great joy to be had in going through some old files on your computer and coming
across pictorial evidence of perhaps your life's greatest achievement--an achievement so
great, that in the ensuing months and years, you completely forgot about it.

I discovered a file today, entitled kickass.bmp and dated exactly two weeks before my

Comments

[elhoserboy]

Pauline, how do I put this nicely? You suck. I'm not going to rematch you; I'm going to change your name to "Fred Gizmo" and see what he brings to the table...

[menime]

Absolutly fantastic! For some reason it brings to my imagination images of jay and Silent Bob (In this case Pauline, Michelle, and Ben) knocking on your door and kicking your ass fo rthis feat.

The man never appreciates it when people such as ourselves come by an achievment this huge.

True That

[elhoserboy]

It's nice to see that your reaction appears to be that of admiration, as it should, and not the bitter jealousy that so many people feel after hearing of my achievement.

No one has yet knocked on my door to give me a beating, but I suspect that if someone does, it will have less to do with my stellar feat and more to do with the ungodly amounts of money I owe Bank of America, Verizon Wireless, Mercury Auto Insurance...

[hem]

I think Norah Jones has a song about this ...

[elhoserboy]

Yeah, I read that her song Cold Cold Heart was inspired by an all-night, drug-addled Hearts tournament that culminated in violence (and the lyrics to her song) when Norah got the Queen of Spades for the upteenth time.

Is that what you're referring to?

[hem]

Shoot the Moon. heh

[elhoserboy]

Oops! My mistake. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

[blatherskite_]

Great, now it's obvious that I can't blame my losing on the computer cheating. Thanks a bunch.

[elhoserboy]

Make no mistake: the computer always cheats--which makes my achievement all the more incredible.

[emmetropia]

when i play hearts on my computer i like to change the names to the coworkers i currently dislike. makes me feel more competitive. then when i win i get to feel totally superior.

[elhoserboy]

Yes, this is quite normal behavior. But it can be a tad embarrassing when you run into a co-worker later and just blurt out: "Hey Mike, fuck you for dropping the Queen on me, you bitch! Don't you know the first diamond trick is always clean?! The first diamond trick is always CLEAN!"