I'm 43. To be honest I'm anything but happy. I let my daughter go out tonight (shes almost 16). I trusted her to be home by 11. Like everything else by the end of the night  I had to hear a bunch of shit and I ended up having to go pick her up because I didn't want her staying at some peoples house I don't know. Why am I doing this?  She's just ( Read more... )

After being gone for a while I'm back. 2 more terrible things have happened. Me sister Anita and her son Jon both died on Feb. 18th of perscription drug overdoses. i am physically, emotionaly and spiritualy sick. If it wasn't for my kids I think I would go on and check out. The way I feel God might do it for me. I'm going to try in the next couple ( Read more... )

All I have been doing this past week is working mostly. I'm so tired. I took off tonight. I really don't give a shit if they fire me or not. I hate the fucking job. I might have a line on another job. I have to do a resume tomorrow and I'll see what happens. I'm still feeling kinda down though not as bad. I started my excercise thing today. I need ( Read more... )

Well it's been a few days since I've been on here. I started back to work last night. By the end of the night I was extremely depressed. Most of the kids that came in there were about my nephew Jesse's age and I couldn't help but to think about him. He was just starting his life and then it's gone. I know my sister is suffering horribly and I know ( Read more... )

Well not much has happened over the last couple days. My blood work came back and I'm ok other than they have to up my meds. I'm happy about that. I just hope my energy level is back up by Sunday when I have to go back to work.

Well finally word on Jesse. My sister is making the final arrangements for cremation tomorrow. It was like pulling teeth getting this info. My sister wants no family or anything involved is the feeling I get all though nothing like this was said out right. At first I was angry, then I thought well so be it. I respect her wishes and will move on ( Read more... )

New Years Day. It was not a bad day. I didn't get the results of my blood tests back. They said they messed something up and I have to go back in Monday and do it all over again. I didn't get mad. I'm just not going to worry about it. No need what will be will be. Last night the kids took off to their friends and Charlie went to bed. I went to my ( Read more... )

Well I'm back after a couple days. Yesterday  was a good day. Me and my kids went out to lunch with a friend and her daughter and granddaughters. My oldest daughter got to finaly meet her niece. She was happy about that and so was I. I think it's important for them to meet as much family as they can since most of mine are gone. Everything went well ( Read more... )

Today was better. The sun was out. Still no word on Jesse. I haven't been breathing well. I did some research on the net and found out it's a side effect of the meds I have to be on because of my thyroid. So tomorrow I'm  going to try something. I got these over the counter thyroid pills. i'm going to quit taking the rx ones and see what the ( Read more... )

Today was better. If the Sun would come out I would be a lot better. I need the Sun. I slept most of the day. Tomorrow I have to try to get out of here for a while anyway. I called the funeral homes and still no word about Jesse. I know they are in shock but something has got to be done. he hasn't been released from the medical examiner yet but I'm ( Read more... )