Title: Nobody Parts No Sea
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Football RPS
Pairing: Fernando Torres/Steven Gerrard
Rating: R
Word count: ~1900
Notes: For sarcastic for being the other half of that Beauty and the Beast parody that is the source of all our team’s current success. I believe in us, bb. Title and summary are from “Easy” by Cory Branan.

Summary: If you really ( Read more... )

Title: How Not To Learn Self Control
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Football RPS
Pairing: Fernando Torres/Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~2800
Notes: For sarkastic, for being awesome, and for the sexy ladies of ontd_football for their first month as a comm - ILU BBS. Thanks to crediniaeth for audiencing and cheerleading.

Summary: Nando can't help himself.

( How Not To Learn Self Control )

Title: Served, Cold
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Football RPF
Pairing: Cristiano Ronaldo/OFC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1600
Notes: Uh, okay. So this is for oxoniensis's annual Porn Battle, but it got a little... well, I guess "out of hand" is an understatement. It's for the prompt "Sports, Cristiano Ronaldo, pegging" which I know sarkastic put in there knowing I'd been joking ( Read more... )

Title: A Beginner's Guide To Professionalism
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Football RPS
Pairing: Michael Ballack/Torsten Frings
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1000
Notes: For sarkastic, because she fulfilled her end of the bargain. This story was mostly inspired by her, anyway. Hope it lives up to your dream, dear. Sorry it's not longer.

Summary: The first thing Michael ( Read more... )

Title: Victory, Defeat, And Other Moments For Roger Federer's Private Wimbledon Scrapbook
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Tennis RPS
Pairing: Roger Federer/Rafael Nadal
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~2000
Notes: This was pretty much entirely prompted by siriaeve , who allowed me to squee at/with her about how hot they are and how they totally ought to be having lots and lots ( Read more... )

TItle: Warmth to Wax
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~1000
Notes: Title is from a quote by Arthur Schopenhauer - "Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax."

Summary: When Jack asks him, later that day, if he’s really as rude as all that, Ianto doesn’t hesitate to say yes. It’s true, after all.

( Warmth to Wax )

Title: Arrivals
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Ruby
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~1500
Warning: Um, het? Do we warn for that? Also spoilers through 3.04, "Sin City".
Disclaimer: Supernatural is really really not mine.
Notes: Thanks to siriaeve for reading this through and assuring me that it doesn't suck, and also pointing out stupid typos, and ( Read more... )

Title: Blowjobs Can't Save The Universe (But You Might As Well Try)
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ten, Jack/Nine/Rose, Jack/Nine
Rating: lots of NC-17 in one convenient pornlet size!
Word Count: <1000
Summary: ( Jack isn't under the illusion that his blowjobs can save the universe. )

Title: Lessons In War, Starting With The Basics
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Rome (the series)
Pairing: Antony/Octavian
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 2000
Disclaimer: Not mine. Also, not really theirs, but... more not mine than not theirs.
A/N: Unbeta'd, so please feel free to point and laugh at all mistakes! Or, y'know, tell me so I can fix them.
Summary: "We'll ( Read more... )

Okay, I give up. *pokes these stories* First up, this one is nearly-complete and yet still not done after OVER A YEAR:

Orange Blossom Special

( Rodney knew something was wrong almost the instant he stepped off the puddlejumper. )