-
something simple
that wasn't actually why i said, "wait." i think i was actually going to ask you a question or something. i don't remember. because when you turned to me, there was only one thing to do. and it was a very small thing, very simple. but sincere, and it makes me smile.
life is not really a happy story. and stories with happy endings are really ( Read more... ) -
the strangest thing
i feel a dull aching for you all the time. you break my heart over and over again, and i never tire of you. you took my entire world and shook it like an etch-a-sketch, left me blank and empty and tired. you never belonged here in the first place. i don't know how you found your way in.
all these things. fragments, really. string them together ( Read more... ) -
secrets
1. i lie a lot.
2. but mostly to myself.
3. and when i realize it's a lie, i almost always admit it.
4. my self-control is much weaker than i'd like to admit
5. one of my favorite places to read at night is sitting on the bathroom counter with my feet in the sink.
6. i would not say i am a happy person.
7. but i would say i am a joyful person.
8. ( Read more... ) -
in the absence of our hollow fantasies
lots to say. at a loss for words. suffice it to say that when people casually ask how i am, the honest answer is that i am very well. i have my moments, but the fact of having those moments doesn't torture me the way it used to. i can let it roll, and let it be, and not hate myself for any of it. there's an incredible peace in that. there are ( Read more... ) -
proof i'm not sleeping
1) Do you know anyone who has messed up your life?
this is a very strange question. i am certainly not an island and the actions of others affect me, just like my actions affect the lives around me.
2) Do you have a best friend?
i have a few. i'm very blessed to know more than one person i can wholeheartedly love and trust.
3) Do you have any siblings?
( Read more... ) -
echoes in the infinite abyss
i'm trying to think of a way to describe it... but there's just nothing. not enough words have been invented yet, i've decided. not nearly enough.
all i know is, there is something hollow inside of me. and all of the time, there are echoes inside of it, things far off and not discernable. more like a dream that you only remember that you had ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
sometimes the little things are just so so good. and so very temporary, but i am thoroughly enjoying myself while it is, for whatever it is.
me: We need to have an Eddie Izzard night.
him: We need to have a lot of nights... Can we have a lot of nights?
me: I'm for it.
him: *smiles* That's Mitch Hedberg.
and every night is somewhat similar- we ( Read more... ) -
and also
i resent being put into a box. i do not belong in a box.
i belong bare feet on the ground, arms open wide to the sky.
i belong to winds and circles and water in flow.
i belong in a warm embrace.
please don't put me into a box and tuck me neatly away. i should be freer than that.
-
let go, or the lack of
do you ever feel like you really let go anymore? like you drop all pretenses and fear, and just lay out all that you truly are- no holding back, no walls between you and the world. and just... be? be you- in all the glory of your weaknesses and strengths and the little things that when you add them all together just become... you? do you ever ( Read more... ) -
idle ideals
idle ideals
in a life much better than i can dream of (i’m not sure if i have it in me to imagine my "perfect life" yet):
i would never have to cook
i could organize to my heart’s content and never have to "clean"
a diet of cereal and dr. pepper would be really healthy
no one would want to make me go to the gym, and i could simply enjoy the glorious ( Read more... )