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(Untitled)
binged again! badly. couldnt purge out of fear id ruin the healing from wisdom teeth. fat pig. fat big. obesity. loser. why do i feel need to eat!? Im fuckin' huge. Who cares I dislike home? Who cares I didnt go out and had to stay up...and cant fall asleep for a while? Who cares I msis renfrew? Who cares I cant believe anyone cares about me?! WHO ( Read more... ) -
unwell
YEAH, I haven't written in a bit, but needless to say, things suck.
I think I need to give up on this 'getting thin' thing! Today I had my last 2 wisdom teeth out...(the other 2 were extracted 3.5 years ago prior to my jaw surgery) and I didn't eat a lot during the day...but managed to recently shove down a cookie, a sandwich, an english muffin w/ ( Read more... ) -
Tomorrow...
I need to 'be good!' Last night carried over into today, as I knew it would. I was still up at 730 am and ate a lot of stuff....and fell asleep til 11...and cancelled plans I had to meet up with a girl i went to HS with...whom I was 'introduced' to by a school social worker/friend that knew she had an e.d. also. I felt bad...but I was sooooo tired, ( Read more... ) -
see? I am a failure!
Almost hit 4 days...was almmosstt there...but i went down to finish up my daily calories with h.w. pretzels...and wasnt in a good mood...and busted open the p.b. and decided to binge. Although, I think it was funny when i opened up the p.b. (it's natural so it has the oil separated) it spewed out all over my pants, the floor, and the computer....it ( Read more... ) -
the urge...
to b/p is getting stronger! Why...it's only been 3 days? I guess that shows what a frickin' addiction it truly is! ick. Im proud though..I neeedd to keep going. It's so hard because especially toward the end of the nite ( Read more... ) -
day 2
of no b/p! Hell yeah. It's a shame such a small amount is a record for me...not all-time, but in the recent past. :) I hope I can keep going. No laxatives, forced vomiting, orrrr bingeing. I love it. I went running today about 6 miles...it was sooo exhausting. I really should just walk..but IDK. My mom wants me to because they're looking into me ( Read more... ) -
Guess who FINALLY exercised?
Yeah,ME! Woo hoo. A week I was very lazy,depressed,lethargic....and finally, I went to the gym. I almost talked myself out of it...which I am amazing at doing. I had my exercise clothes on once today and took them off and decided I had to shower. Later on, I thought, well you didn't eat enough....but thank gosh I forced myself. An hr and a half, ( Read more... ) -
Ugh!
Ugh, I am soooo sick of everything. I hate to always seem negative, but I am a very real person and not want to be fake...so like my page says, this is me. [take it or leave it] I don't think many read this anyway! What am I sick of? let's see. Fucking bulimia..which I feel less 'bulimic' because I haven't been purging..I've been lazy and replacing ( Read more... ) -
new layout
Yes, it's Philadelphia,PA. No, I do not live there...my heart is there though...well, i've never seen the city per se...but I've been there twice for treatment at Renfrew. I know,lame. But I miss my T and a certain counselor there so so so much.:( it's painful. I get so easily attached to people..i've been gone nearly a year and I still miss it... ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Rules of the game ( Read more... )