i just want to die
why does everybody keep rejecting me
and trying to make me want to kill myself..
i don't want to feel like this
i swear i fucking don't
but you fucking people
going around and saying whatever
pisses me the fuck off and if you
do it again you won't see
the fucking light of day
you sons of bitches

you promised me that first day

you'd never hurt me

and these pass couple of days

that's all i've been feeling

what am i to do?

you say you love me and cause me grief

now i'm just left alone to weep.

the lies, the deception, the fact

that i still need you even when

not needed...how much more can

give..how much more can i wait

how the heck am i supposed to feel when i give my shoulders to the world and in return i'm left alone?

i had a bad day i'll cry if i want to...

i'm so confused, i honestly with all my heart don't know what to do. i don't know who to turn to. i'm afraid to confide into the people that i love because i don't want them to hurt as much as i do. it kills, the agony of the situation, the pain  of being me, the emptiness that you're not suppose to ( Read more... )

darn it, being independent takes so much work and i love the fact that i have kids that are younger and older than me telling me that they look up to me because of the way i am. I don't take crap from people, i don't care about what people say about me, i'm faithful, when i know i'm wrong i apologize, i'm beautiful, i'm nice, i'm one of those ( Read more... )

today i tried to win tickets to madonna and cassidy..i used both of my phones (cell and house phone) and still no luck. Argh. I've never won anything before and i just want to win something. I doubt that i'd go but yeah.. odd. I also tried looking for a job and failed at that too. MARRRRRRKKKKKKKKK..i don't know i just felt like typing that if you ( Read more... )

i feel ridiculous. i never thought that i could feel this way with one person so quickly and so openly. it feels like i've been with him for more than it has been and it's ridiculous. he makes me smile when i don't think i can smile anymore. he makes me giggle like a kid again. he makes my joy. i don't know what you call this but i never want it to ( Read more... )

i think i'm falling in love..i think i'm faliing in love...love love love love love........what am i to do?

"shame what i am, shame what i'm not"

"hey jen" person
"what's up?" me
"want to smoke a cig?" person
"no" me
"loser" person
"a loser that has better lungs than you" me