well i guess ill start writing in this journal since my password was mysteriously changed... i wonder who it could be? hmm anyways im still in colorado. i like being with my mom but im seriously tired of doing manual labor. ive done nothing but work for the whole time ive been up here. some vacation huh... only 3 more days and ill be back in that ( Read more... )

to the select few who read this journal i will be posting on a different journal from now on. the new name is emotionalxs. yea its the same thing just spelled differently so if u still wanna see what goes on in the mind of a sick individual then bookmark that page instead of this one. see you and i love you all

I hurt myself today ( Read more... )

yesterday me and cassie went to sunset place. she does things without realizing what shes doing. she doesnt do thing intentionally to hurt me it just happens that way. im her first real boyfriend. people tell me that shes a slut because of the way she walks around from guy to guy and flirts with them. i dont think she is a slut. i just think she ( Read more... )

Yea as you might be able to tell, something bad has happened. yesterday i was having car problems and all my antifreeze was leaking. I figured it was problem a broken hose or something small like that. So i took my car into this guy my grandma knows to fix it. He told me to drop it off and hed try to have it fixed by 3 so i could go see cassie. so ( Read more... )

yesterday my dad said something to me that almost made me end my life. Heres the conversation as i remember it ( Read more... )

Today my 6 year old cousin who lives with me woke me up at 9 am crying. he said "my mommy isnt here, someone stole her. i had to hold back the truth because its hard to tell a 6 year old that his mom is a crack fiend. so i covered for her and told him that she went to a doctors appointment and that shed be home soon. when you smoke crack it doesnt ( Read more... )

For those of you who cant tell, this song is about crack... therefore im dedicating this song to my closest of relatives, the one whos never been there for me when i needed him, the man who is responsible for the fucked up humanity that ive become, my father. Thank you for putting crack ahead of me in life dad. now go fuck yourself ( Read more... )

Im referring to an unfamiliar feeling. You get it from your family or your friends. Its called love. I havent had many friends in my life and no family to give me that feeling of belonging. I met someone who could give me that thing ive never felt before. Today was her birthday. so i went to her house today and we went to pf changs and had chinese ( Read more... )

Im a little sad right now because I am gonna be unable to reach my goal. I was planning to buy my own place for my birthday next year. The problem is that its only 8 months away. Tonight i was adding up my expenses and i realized that i would be about 800 dollars a month short right now. This means that I couldnt possibly afford to buy a place ( Read more... )