It's been awhile since I've been on here. I can't say that I've been busy because I really haven't. I just haven't thought about it in awhile. I really haven't had anything to vent about really. Haven't really needed this at all. I've been at home all day. Last night I felt like I was dying. I woke up around 2am in a lot of pain. It felt ( Read more... )

I'm pretty sure no one ever reads this, so I don't really know why I've been so reserved when explaining my feelings or just what I'm thinking in general. It's not like any of these people I talk about are going to get on here and actually read this shit ( Read more... )

Last year around this time sucks. The month of May 2019 was probably the worst month of my life. I spent most of it sitting in my room, laying in bed wondering who Sarah was staying with and what she was doing while trying to figure out how I could salvage things. I was also dealing with health issues that just added even more stress to my life. ( Read more... )

I've never been one to reconnect with ex's romantically. I'm really not even friends with a lot of my ex's. But I recently did. We talked and hung out a few times and had talked about actually seeing each other again after all this shit ends. Nope. She decided to get a boyfriend. Funny. The same thing happened 15 years ago. I should just leave ( Read more... )

It's funny how certain things can bring up memories. Rather it be an event, a song or a TV show. It happened today while at work and it just got me thinking about a lot. This time last year I was starting a new job at Sweeney Chrysler. I was excited to start the job because it was more money,but more importantly, it got me back to a regular ( Read more... )

I really didn't know how I would feel when I happened but it's getting close. To be honest, I hadn't been thinking about it a lot. I've truly been happy. In the beginning, talking to Kayla probably saved my life. There were so many nights with me laying in bed replaying everything in my mind and just being lonely and wanting to die and she was ( Read more... )

Today has already been horrible and it's not even lunch yet. It took me forever to get to work. It was raining and people were driving stupid. I had stopped at the store and got some liquid eggs. Get to work, go grab my sausage out of the freezer. I'm out. Damn. At least I have eggs. Nope. Someone had opened the eggs and put them on the shelf. No ( Read more... )

I feel better today. Yesterday I was a mess. I got to FaceTime with Jacob for a few minutes. He's sick. Poor guy. I was trying to figure out a way to get him this weekend, but I can't bring him to the house if he's sick. Oliver will be there ( Read more... )

I'm in my emotions today, more than I've been in awhile. All I've wanted to do all day is just crawl into a ball and cry. My time with Jacob just isn't enough. We got home around 1030 on Friday and we went to bed. Woke up at 8. He took a nap from 2-530 and went to bed at 1130 and woke up at 8. We left at 12:30. I had him awake for 16 1/2 hours. ( Read more... )

Sometimes you can go your whole life without picking up on patterns or characteristics and that ignorance can cost you a lot in the end. It took me hitting rock bottom and losing my family to seek help, and what I've learned has changed my life for the better. I have let go of all of the hate and anxiety that has always held me back. I have ( Read more... )