"It's hard to walk through all the places that your life used to be in. So you thought you'd shed a layer, maybe try on some new skin. Your friends are all imaginary. Your shrink stopped answering the phone. So you decide to make incisions at your home when you're all alone. But you're no tailor, you're no surgeon. None of your cuts are ( Read more... )

This is probably the worst day of my life. I was fine. I got to Aunt Verna's and started unpacking my stuff. I walked into her room to talk to her and there was the picture frames we gave her for Christmas on her wall. A picture of the four of us, then one of the three kids. I lost it. Now I'm sitting in my room crying. This sucks, and it's only ( Read more... )

I'm laying on the bed in Aunt Verna's spare bedroom and I'm thinking why did I drive down here? I needed to get out of the house by myself, I know that. But the whole drive down all I did was think, and over think and drive myself crazy. And now I'm here, laying in the room by myself doing the same thing. I went to watch Tucker play baseball but ( Read more... )

"It's like everything that I ever have imagined's coming true today. There is a cost my friends, of living out some other dream to find the consequence. It comes and goes in seasons around here. I thought again, there's nothing left around to yield this sorry ignorance. If I do echo I hope you never see. And I hope if there is one thing I let ( Read more... )

Well, I've been in Dayton off and on for two months now and I still don't feel like I've settled in yet. I think the timing was just bad. I was suppose to be here at the beginning of the year. I had a good job lined up and everything. Obviously, that fell through because it took me so long to get here. Actually, the job was gone in February. ( Read more... )

While driving today, I through the iPod on shuffle. Punchline came on, then old Fall Out Boy, and Spitalfield. It was like it was the early 2000's all over again. Sarah went to bed early, so I threw the headphones on and decided to go through my iTunes library. The songs brought back a lot of memories. Most were fond, but some were not so ( Read more... )

Our last football game a week ago, and I'm excited it's finally over. We had a better season than we did last year. We went 3-7 last year and missed the playoffs. Our of the seven losses, we were only competitive in two of them. This year we finished 4-7, losing in the first round of the playoffs. We played a way tougher schedule this year and ( Read more... )

It's the time of year again. The time of year I find myself talking to a headstone. I want you to know that I'm doing the best I can with what I've been given and I'm trying to make you proud. We improved our record this year winning four games and we will play a playoff game tomorrow ( Read more... )

It's been awhile since I've posted, but I've been super busy. Truth is, I like being busy. I'm finally getting promoted, and I'm sort of excited about it. I will finally be the parts manager. I'll have an office and my own space to just do whatever. I'll also get a raise, and will get an even bigger one in six months. That new job should ( Read more... )

Everyday is a struggle. I struggle with my weight even though people tell me I'm not fat. I struggle with my job, even though I like being busy. Most of all, I struggle with myself. It seems to be a fight I can't win.