Not doing so good ( Read more... )

It's funny. One day I think i'm doing ok and the next day it's 100x worse ( Read more... )

Ok so I told him. And he was really good about it. Thank god. I mean he may never talk to me again and I will be devastated but I already cry every 10 minutes anyway ( Read more... )

I just may have a panic attack before the day is over.

Well this is becoming a pattern. Kinda like 02 all over again. Except I was happy then ( Read more... )

Today was a lot better than yesterday. Partially because I slept all day and partially because I saw Finn's daddy. He still doesn't know of course but somehow I was comforted by being near him. He just has this energy that I feed off of and I just feel better when i'm around him. I know we'll never amount to anything but I hope he's always in my ( Read more... )

My new drug of choice isn't actually a drug for once. i'm hooked on absinthe. Not hooked really because it's too nasty tasting for me to enjoy it but the buzz is lovely. I got a bottle for my bday. Also it's good i'm not actually addicted to it because you can't buy it in alabama ( Read more... )

Someone suggested I look up ways to deal with grief. So I googled it. And read this ( Read more... )

i've sort of been sitting on this because it kills me to talk about it. Two weeks ago, I had a miscarriage. It didn't really fully hit me until last night. Of course i've been thinking about it and i've been upset. But part of me was in denial. After I got over the shock of being pregnant, I was excited. I mean I did everything I could to not get ( Read more... )

I scared the hell out of my parents earlier in the week when we were watching Pollack and my mom said "are all artists out of their minds?" and i thought about all my favorite painters and then said "pretty much... my time's coming..." and they both just sort of looked at me and my mom said "it is?" and i said "sooner than later" and they just ( Read more... )