A Hell of a Short Story...

[enaka]

...which I wrote in about thirty minutes, give or take.  The inspiration smacked me upside the head like a pillowcase full of bricks (wielded nefariously by my hot shot muse of mine, no doubt).  I thought I'd share it with anyone willing to read it.

Critique is encouraged, other comments accepted, but if you don't want to then I certainly won't hold

Comments

[i_write_vamps]

This was really, really interesting. I love your characters, first of all, Nokion is just .... awesome. :D It was really intriguing from the start and I feel sad that it is a short story because I would love to see where you can go with it. All in all, loved it, and hope you share more with us soon!

[enaka]

Oh, don't feel too bad. Nokion is likely to show up again, and he'll be causing plenty of trouble, if not cleaning up after the wrong kind. *covertly points to Berar*

[writn_fool]

I really loved the story. I will admit to just a little confusion right at first, but by the time we got to Berar talking about getting people to Hell ("You lure them?" - priceless), I was good to go. Very creative and I'm looking forward to seeing what this duo might do next.