i'm scared. i don't know how long i can keep up the facade that i am human.

it's very apparent i'm not californian. the girls here seem to speak valleyesque and i'm not quite sure if i have that ability. i want to fit in. as far as the walls of my apartment, carlsbad is no different from austin. it's pretty lonely, but i've been trying to get over depression on my own without turning to debilitating entertainment like ( Read more... )

hey, mom, i haven't talked to you in a while. just wanted to let you know that we moved to carlsbad. we got a really nice place in our price range about ten minutes from the beach, and it's in super-close proximity to malls and theaters and stores. the reason we came out here is because my boyfriend got one of the coolest jobs ever. i'm a little ( Read more... )

in a recent facebook war, my aunt told me that i have no future with my boyfriend and that he obviously doesn't think i'm worth getting married to as we have yet to walk down the aisle. i want to strangle her ( Read more... )

I'm officially a college student.

omgomgomg

Got my lip pierced. Boyfriend hates it. I love it.

I don't talk about work much since there's not much to say about it. I hate my job. I break the silence today with something I feel to be significant ( Read more... )

So I tried the social butterfly thing and it didn't work after all. I went to a few parties or whatever and more people say hello to me, but I'm not there to respond back. I'm possessed to wave, tilt my head, squint my eyes, smile... I feel like I have someone's hand shoved up my ass, pulling strings to make me yammer on about who's dating who and ( Read more... )

At some unspecified point in my childhood I wanted to own a toy. I was a good kid and didn't ask for much-- poverty and I had become good friends and felt it rude to ask my dear mother for knicks and knacks when I knew in my little heart I should not (or rather, could not) have them. When I went to school with the other children they would often ( Read more... )

I saw a worm on the sidewalk. It was struggling, almost as if it was going to die. Instead of walking away from it like I normally would, I slowly rolled it back on the grass with the tip of my shoe.