i finally did it. i am getting professional help.

there's something very charming about someone that thinks my depression is cute.

i am happy

holy jesus, who fucking knew?

i was reading through some of my private entries today. i was predicting an apocalypse, and now there's a date for mine.

but who fucking knew i'd have fun on my way there? small world. i love the internet.

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sometimes i feel like stabbing the back of my head with a pen to get rid of the bad thoughts

fun fact: as i was thinking "thoughts" in the previous sentence, my fingers typed "touch"

sometimes i feel like stabbing the back of my head with a pen to get rid of the bad touch

she died

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she's dying and i can't afford youth in asia. (or euthanasia). seeing her makes me sick with guilt and sorrow

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i opened the fridge, looked at the milk, and broke out in wails and tears. sometimes i wonder if i should get out of bed.

there's a great calming effect of being at home with all the blinds closed, sipping hot cocoa while listening to faint news reports and the tiny crunch noises my cats are making while they eat.

my new job at best buy is as soulless as any retail position. the girl that was hired with me is a retail noob and comes off as a nitwit. she's really nice so i try to mirror her speech to make her feel comfortable around me. at this rate, if she's my only competition for the full-time opening in january, i'll have a permanent job. i hate the ( Read more... )