Meadows of Heaven (19/23)

[epeeblade]

Chapter 19

Jensen knew from the panicked wide-eyed look on Peter's face that he wouldn't much like whatever Adrian did next.

And all the man had done - after plundering Jensen's mouth, after tucking himself away neatly, as if his come hadn't just poured down Jensen's throat, his taste sour on Jensen's tongue - was order the guards to "Take him to the Oubliette."

They pulled him to his feet, and Jensen caught a glimpse of Peter, looking downright frightened, and that didn't sit right at all. He resisted at first, made it so they had to drag him, but Jensen knew there was nothing he could do. Even if he pulled free of their grasp there was nowhere to run, no way to hide from Adrian in his own castle. Like it or not, Jensen just had to wait for rescue, confident that as soon as his tracer was activated they'd be in to extract him. Until then, he had to do what he did best.

He submitted.

His resolve nearly faltered when another guard pulled the lid off of a trap door in the center of the hall. Nothing in the queen's palace resembled such a thing. Jensen didn't even want to guess what lie below, and his mind rebelled, considering anything from the snapping jaws of a creature to metal spikes.

"No," he tried to say around the ring gag. "No!" he shouted, the sound garbled and muffled as they pushed him forward. Jensen looked up, caught Adrian's smile, slick and anticipatory while Peter just shook his head, so slight that if he hadn't been looking for, Jensen couldn't have caught it.

And then they pushed him into the hole in the ground. Jensen fell, slipped into darkness so thick and viscous it was like sliding into a stream filled with sludge. He floated, suspended in nowhere and nothing, and then all sensation dissipated. Jensen tried to blink, to wiggle his toes, anything, but his limbs didn't respond. He couldn't even feel his lungs inflate with air, hell he wasn't even sure if he were still breathing.

Adrian's technique for breaking his subs became quite clear. Jensen knew sensory deprivation could drive a person mad, had trained to withstand it on several levels. But nothing he'd endured could ever match the total nothingness of this Oubliette. Even when strapped down, blindfolded and ears plugged, Jensen at least had a sense of his own body. He had never felt like a floating soul, unable to move or to feel.

Would they even be able to find him? Trapped underground like this? For all Jensen knew his consciousness had been stripped of his body and taken somewhere else. Perhaps only Adrian knew where.

No, he had to stop thinking like this. But that was the problem, all he could do was think and dwell. He couldn't even count his heartbeat, his surefire trick for calming himself and finding his center. Instead of taking a deep breath, because he couldn't, Jensen ran through the multiplication table, taking comfort in the cold stark reality of the numbers.

The problem started when he couldn't remember the solution for seven times nine. Stupid of him to forget, but when had he last had the occasion to do math? Jensen tried to count it out, adding seven to seven, but he lost track of how many times he counted. He had no visual cues to rely on, couldn't speak the numbers aloud and he tried to move lips that suddenly didn't exist.

So stupid, he thought, Jared would know the answer.

Would they tell Jared, he wondered, if he died here? Or would his little brother never find out, just sit waiting by the comm for a call that never came? A vivid picture appeared in his mind, Jeff arriving at the apartment, ringing the chime to tell Jared how Jensen had met his end - a slave for some asshole who didn't understand the first thing about command.

Honestly, if he had died out in the field, none of the revelations would be pretty. Would they tell Jared he'd been assigned to make a pretty young girl fall in love with him so it would be easier for him to assassinate her father? Or that he was selling his body for money in the hopes of gathering information? Or that he had been loaned out to the senators for the dual duty of bodyguard and slut?

But they wouldn't tell Jared. Even though Jensen had made Ferris promise to let Jared know if Jensen wasn't coming back, she still couldn't tell him the intimate details of each mission. And often, those details were what damned him.

Stop it, Jensen thought. But he couldn't, his mind circling itself over and over, going from missions gone bad, to what would happen to Jared if he died. And then, there was Jeff.

He cared for Jeff, for the man who'd gone into the fire with him, accepted every instruction Jensen had given, and didn't even flinch at working with a scut, back when the mission really was just getting two of his people back. That was what made Jeff worthy, someone who'd take his submission for the gift it was, and not throw it back in his face.

But really, could Jensen see a life for the two of them? Could Jeff just sit back and wait for Jensen to come home, knowing Jensen's missions meant he was fucking someone else? And could Jensen be the one to sit back and wait, if Jeff continued in the Corps, continued soaring the stars without him, bound on Earth to just wait and hope. It wasn't like the UP let people register as master and sub either. Even if they both retired from the military no one would accept this, no one would acknowledge that any collar Jeff gave him would be worth more than any wedding ring.

Jensen didn't know how much time passed. It could have been hours, or minutes or days. He had no way to mark the time, no companions except for the unsavory bent to his thoughts, the way memories would come up out of nowhere and leave him aching with fresh pain.

And then he heard a voice other than his own thoughts.

"Rise and shine, little sub."

Even though it was Adrian's voice, Jensen latched onto it like a lifeline, eager to escape the twirling whirlwind of his own thoughts. He tried to open his eyes, to lick his lips and respond, but he'd been given back only his hearing, so all he could do was strain to hear what would be said next.

"Such a simple thing, isn't it? To hear, to see, to smell," Adrian sounded like he was musing to himself. "We take it for granted, really, until the ability is stolen away."

Jensen waited, knowing that now Adrian would tell him what he wanted of him, why he'd done this. He couldn't keep him like this forever, he just couldn't. Jensen refused to consider otherwise.

"What would you do, little sub, for the ability to see? Would you trade your tongue for it? Never speak again? I wonder."

For the briefest of moments, Jensen felt something, like he had a body again, like a puff of air against his cheek.

"What would you trade to be able to feel? How about your name? Such a dispensable thing, really."

And that explained why Peter allowed himself to be renamed. What had he traded his name for? Jensen wondered.

"Of course, I don't have to ask," Adrian mused. "I don't have to take anything in trade. And you know why, sub? Because I am the master. You exist for me. If you don't please me, well, there are many Oubliettes in my castle. Sometimes I forget to check them all."

If Jensen could move, he knew he'd shudder at that revelation. He didn't doubt for a second that Adrian would leave him like this, if Jensen didn't learn his pointed lesson. Adrian didn't just want obedience. He wanted to break Jensen apart and rebuild him into Adrian's image of what a perfect sub should be. Jensen wondered if any of the subs the Duke had broken had ever pleased him, or if he would find fault again and again.

"If I want you to feel pleasure," Adrian said, "You'll feel pleasure."

Jensen became aware of his cock, encased now in warm slick heat. He would have gasped if he could, but he could only feel that sensation, nothing else to get in the way.

"And if I want you to feel pain. . ."

No, no, Jensen wanted to cry, knowing what was coming. But he couldn't beg for Adrian to stop, couldn't even plead with his eyes. He'd been reduced to nothing more than a tool, unable to act on his own, a pretty doll for Adrian to pose as he saw fit. Or damage if he wanted.

The burning started at the soles of his feet, intense heat that would have him screaming if he could. Jensen struggled, threw his consciousness at the boundaries of his mind, desperate to move, to cry out, to stop this. But all he could do was feel, endure the pain like an unstoppable wave.

"There is no escape, sub, there is no rescue, there is only me."

And Adrian was everything.

***

Jeff caught himself again, as his chin attempted to connect with his chest. He'd been up for so long, he couldn't remember what it felt like to sleep, but his body kept trying to remind him. But there was no way he was going back up to his suite to sleep, not with the empty bed a constant reminder that Jensen should be beside him.

Gyllenhaal knelt on the other side of the room, one of the walls open, wires and machine guts spilled around her. She didn't look any closer to connecting the city to the scanner than she had this morning. Lieutenant Whitfield stood behind her, handing her whatever tool she asked for out of the crate at his side.

"Sir, you should really get some sleep," Chikezie said. Her sudden appearance caused him to jump and Jeff knew he was way past tired at that point. He should not have been taken by surprise.

"It's nothing another shot of Vivran won't cure," he said, attempting to give her a smile. Apparently it wasn't nearly so charming when he was unshaven and dark circles ringed his bloodshot eyes. Chikezie only frowned at him.

"You've had two already, sir. I can't in good conscious give you a third." Chikezie frowned. "There's nothing else you can do right now."

Jeff clamped his jaw shut before he yelled at her, told her there should fucking damn well be something he could do. Jensen was out there, wherever he was, probably waiting for Jeff to smarten up and activate his damn tracer, and they couldn't even do that much. He hated the not knowing, the waiting and hoping. But every hour that passed with no word made Jeff fear they may never learn what happened to Jensen.

The door to the sitting room shimmered open and the princess entered, her sub following holding a tray. It seemed it was her turn to come sit by his side. Claudia and Misha had left not too long ago, Misha's face streaked with tears. "This doesn't happen," Misha had said.

"We've brought refreshments for your team." Alona smiled as her sub placed the tray on a low table. He then moved to her side and slid to his knees.

Jeff didn't miss the stink-eye Chikezie was giving the two of them. Stars, if he did go up to grab some sleep could he be certain his team wouldn't antagonize the locals? "Thank you, princess," he said, hoping Chikezie caught the warning in the use of the girl's title.

She did. "Yes, thank you."

Alona smiled brightly at her. "I hope you enjoy the tye. It's nice to have warm just before bed."

Jeff eyed the steaming cups and knew when he was being managed. He snorted and pushed himself up out of the armchair. "Going to check in with Gyllenhaal, and then I'll catch a nap. You will comm me if there are any results," he told Chikezie.

"Yes, sir." She barely hid her smile in time.

He walked over to check the progress, watching for a moment as Gyllenhaal combed through some wiring from the wall. "How's it coming, Corporal?

"Fine, sir," she said in a low tone, not looking up.

That got him suspicious. "Gyllenhaal, look at me," he snapped.

She let the wires fall and turned tear streaked eyes up at him. Gyllenhaal wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve in an irritated gesture. "What if I can't get it?"

Jeff knelt and put his hand on her shoulder. "You can do this, Corporal," he told her, hoping to push aside some of her doubts, though he had some of the same fears. Despite the fact that everyone in Harmony seemed just comfortable with using the tech here, apparently no one save the queen really understood that it was technology. Poor Gyllenhaal didn't have so much as a manual to flip through. "Maybe you should get some rest too. Things will look fresh in the morning."

"I can't give up," she said.

"Hey, you're not giving up," Whitfield took the opportunity to say. "You're taking a god damn break."

Jeff flinched, annoyed at himself for letting the girl work so hard all day long. He should know better by now. What would Jensen think of him, not paying attention when a subordinate needed him? "All of you eat something and get some sleep. Alona, are there beds free for them to use?"

She nodded. "I will see to it."

So dismissed, Jeff managed to make his way back up to the suite he had shared with Jensen during these past weeks. The bedclothes were still rumpled, Jensen not having bothered to make the bed yesterday, since they were supposed to have been back on the Mercury by now. None of the cleaning subs had disturbed the room. Jensen's pack still sat propped against the window, waiting for him to pick it up and head out onto the tram.

Jeff sank onto the bed, letting his head fall into his hands. He felt like he had failed Jensen in the most spectacular fashion. Something had happened to him, someone had taken him away. The captain had asked him 'how much do you trust these people?' when he gave his last status report. It made sense of course, spirit Jensen away, and then pretend to give all sorts of help in finding him.

Years of war with the Confed had bred distrust in all of them, especially when truces and agreements usually meant nothing. Poor Katie's death was proof of that.

It came back to him with vivid clarity, seeing the information about the attack on the newsfeed, and praying that please, no, she wasn't hurt. He'd hoped that she could have survived, up and until he saw the images of the entire planet, devastated. For a long time afterward, he wondered if she could have gone off-planet for whatever reason, that she was alive somewhere and waiting for him. But Jeff knew she wouldn't, he knew she was waiting at their cabin for him to come home for a leave that had been consistently delayed. And she died for it.

This wasn't the same thing, and no matter how many times he repeated that to himself, Jeff didn't know how to believe it. Jensen was military; he knew how to take care of himself. Most importantly, he wasn't Jeff's wife, and this thing between them was brand spanking new.

Fuck, he was going in circles, mourning the loss of something that had barely begun when they weren't even sure what had happened to Jensen. Jeff kicked off his boots and crashed out on the bed, hoping that sleep would steal him away from the constant cycle of worry and regret. He closed his eyes and hoped he wouldn't dream.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Jeffrey, isn't this what you wanted?"

Katie used to call him that in bed, with a wink and her lips curled up in a grin. Jeff would tickle her back onto the pillows, asking if she preferred to be called "Katherine" instead. And then he would murmur her name against her skin until she couldn't remember his any more.

But he'd never seen her like this before - naked save for links of chains around her ankles and wrists, curled to one side on the bed, her eyes lowered in a seductive gaze, blond hair falling shimmering around her shoulders. "Why don't you just take what you want?"

"This isn't what I want!" Jeff protested, moving closer. He wanted to take her by the shoulders, shake her, demand to know where she had been all this time.

It was only as he got one knee up on the bed that he noticed her eyes. She stared at him out of moss-green eyes. Katie had had brown eyes. Jensen was the one with green eyes.

"If you don't take it, someone else will," Katie warned him.

And then the sharp shrill beeping of his comm had Jeff snapping awake. He floundered, caught in the tangled sheets, still not quite sure where he was. Jeff found the comm on the floor, must have unclipped from his belt during his tossing and turning. Honestly he never meant to sleep that long. He snapped it on.

"Morgan."

"Commander, it's Chikezie. You need to come to the Great Hall. The queen tried to reach you, but said you didn't answer. She was going to send a page. . ."

No, he wouldn't have seen the flashing of tele and Jeff never asked if the thing could be set for audio, though he assumed it could. "I'll be right there, Lieutenant." He snapped it shut, not wanting to ask for details. Jeff would deal with whatever it was when he got there.

And stars, he hoped it was Jensen, perfectly safe and sound.

***

Maggie hadn't expected to get her own room, she figured they'd stick the three of them in a single room with bunk beds. But the little kid who led the way showed them each to a different room, albeit all next to one another. He hadn't worn a collar, and the only sub she'd seen really was the one belonging to the princess, the tall one with the light blue eyes. He wasn't anything like what she expected, broad shouldered and muscled, he looked like he wouldn't let anyone tell him what to do. Except for the princess of course.

Honestly she was a bit disappointed. Where were the loincloths, the whips and chains?

Well, she was better off not having to deal with the distractions. Even now, lying on this sinfully soft bed, she could see patterns of circuits in the ceiling, the colors shifting into the combinations possible. Even when she closed her eyes the pattern repeated. No matter how tired she was, Maggie knew she wasn't getting any sleep.

Her boots in hand, she padded down the hallway in her socks, not wanting to wake her companions. Maybe there was one more thing she could try, at least before dawn anyway. She might be able to figure it out without having everyone watching her. The sitting room was only down the hall, and even though the door was closed, it opened when she touched it. Maggie sprang back from the shimmering effect. Honestly what was wrong with doors simply opening?

The lights flickered on as she entered, illuminating the dim room. She regarded her work, tsking at the unordered mess she'd left it all. Well, she wouldn't figure it out like this. Time to straighten up a bit. Maggie knelt and began putting everything in order, separating the 328 parts from the bio scanner. That first experiment had failed anyway.

"Someone's up late."

Maggie hadn't heard the person enter, so intent on examining the 328 circuitry board in her hands. She nearly dropped it, before looking up to regard her visitor. He was another one of the subs, with a blue collar and pants to match, hanging low on his hips. She felt herself blush at the sight of those tight abs, someone did a lot of crunches.

"Sorry," she said, looking back down at the board. "I couldn't sleep. I hate leaving a job undone."

He dropped down next to her, sitting cross-legged and leaning over to look at her work. "I'm surprised any of you is getting any sleep, what with Ackles missing."

Maggie frowned at him, something about his tone seemed off to her.

"So what is it you're trying to do anyway? Connect the bio scanner to the city computer? That's pretty fucking ambitious. What's it gonna do anyway? Boost the signal?"

"I'm hoping that by giving the city tech bio scanning capability it'll screw with anyone who's trying to jam our scanners. Just what the hell do you know about it?" She snapped back, wanting to know how this sub knew so much about their tech.

He gave her a surprised little grin, his blue eyes sparkling. "Corporal," he said after checking the label on her jumpsuit. "You have no idea who I am, do you?"

"Um," she mumbled. "One of the subs?"

He laughed, color rising in his cheeks at her words. His hand went up to touch his collar, then just as quickly pulled away. "Can't blame you for thinking that. Let me introduce myself - Major Henry Tappen, Hank to my friends." He held out his hand for her to shake.

"Oh stars," she whispered, mortified. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. . ."

"Didn't know the UP sold me for access to the tech here?" he asked brightly, as if it was no big deal.

"No," Maggie said, shaking her head. "The terms of the trade agreement aren't public record yet. And I would have no reason to have access to them." She pushed the circuit board back into place in the wall. "I'm just a technician. Sir."

Tappen snorted. "Don't call me 'sir.' As you can see, it doesn't really apply anymore."

"Speaking of that," she began.

"He's asleep," Tappen clarified. "And I wanted to see how the search was going. The whole palace is freaking out about it, you know. I just couldn't sit and wait while Ian was out searching.

"And Ian is. . .?"

Tappen made a face. "My master. And one of the guards here. They've been scouring the city looking while I've been twiddling my thumbs. So, really, Corporal, if there's anything I can do to help, please let me know."

"Well, anything you know about the tech would. . ." Maggie stopped. She heard a low level beeping and turned to find out where it was coming from. When she had straightened up earlier, she'd put the bio scanner back together, intending to concentrate on figuring out the 328 tech first. Chikezie had left it set to Jensen's biorhythms, and now it was reacting.

"I didn't do it," Tappen said. "I swear."

Maggie pushed herself up and pulled up the holographic display. "I think we might have something. Do you know how the comm system works here?"

He gave her another grin. "Corporal, allow me to introduce you to the tele."



Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Epilogue