Meadows of Heaven (22/23)
Chapter 22
Jeff heard the shower running when he entered the quarters he had shared with Jensen these past weeks. He had returned here after finding Jensen missing from the infirmary, where Jeff had left him while contacting the captain and finalizing things with the queen. Another shuttle would be waiting for them, but not until Jensen felt up to traveling.
Jensen's black duty uniform had been spread out on their bed, his pack sat open against it, still organized with military precision. Jeff's own clothing felt sticky and heavy against his skin. His jumpsuit hit the floor after he toed off his boots; glad he had a spare uniform in his pack. When he opened the door and caught sight of Jensen's form under the water, Jeff had to stop to catch his breath.
The sight of the water rolling off of Jensen's skin always did something for him, had arousal curling in his gut like an old friend. But now it merged with fear, at how close he had come to losing Jensen forever. He stepped inside the shower, coming up behind Jensen who stood with his head bowed, leaning against the colorful tiled wall.
"Jeff," he said, one word.
"Shh," Jeff murmured. He stepped behind Jensen and smoothed his hands over his back, just watching his fingers follow the path of Jensen's spine, causing the other man to arch into his touch. "You're so beautiful."
At those words Jensen stiffened. "That's what everyone says."
"Jensen."
"My body hasn't belonged to me in a long time," Jensen's voice was resigned, free of the bitterness Jeff would have expected.
"It's not just your body I want," Jeff said, not sure if Jensen believed him. He leaned down to nuzzle the back of Jensen's neck, his lips following his hands as they smoothed their way to Jensen's waist. He cupped Jensen's buttocks, squeezing the fuzzy skin like two large peaches. Grinning at the thought, Jeff slid to his knees and parted Jensen's cheeks, revealing his clenched hole.
Jensen whimpered as Jeff blew on it slightly. He reached out with his tongue, taking a tentative lick at first. When he got a response, Jensen shuddering under him, Jeff tried it again, tracing the lines of skin till he got Jensen to relax for him, to open just a bit. The healers had done their job, Jensen seemed perfect, not red and swollen like before.
"Fuck me," Jensen whispered.
Jeff pulled back in surprise. "Jensen," he said, not sure how he felt about that. He didn't know the extent of what Adrian had done, but Jeff could guess.
"I want you to," Jensen said, turning his head and all but glaring at Jeff. "I want YOU to."
Oh, Jeff got it suddenly. He pushed himself to his feet and met Jensen's lips in a soft kiss. "Anything you want," he promised.
Droplets of water gathered on Jensen's eyelashes, collecting like tears that never fell. Jeff gave in to the impulse to rain kisses down Jensen's brow, tasting clean water and salty skin. Jensen pressed his hands against the tile wall, spreading his legs and canting out his hips. Jeff kept one possessive hand on the rounded curve of Jensen's ass, reaching out with the other to collect lube from the convenient pump in the shower. He would really miss this place.
His fingers slid inside Jensen, encased by tight heat. Jeff closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against the side of Jensen's face, breathing in the citrus shampoo, tasting nothing but Jensen on his tongue. Jensen moaned at his touch, rumbling deep in his chest as Jeff continued to stretch him.
"Ready?" Jeff asked, pulling out and spreading Jensen's cheeks, his cock, hot and heavy at the well-lubed entrance.
Jensen nodded, his eyes closed. Jeff pushed himself inside with short careful motions, waiting with each breach of muscle to make sure Jensen had relaxed, had opened to him. His body welcomed Jeff inside, so hot and impossibly tight.
Jeff reached out and entwined his fingers with Jensen's against the tile, keeping Jensen against the wall with nothing but his own body. He rolled his hips into Jensen, thrusting inside sleepy slow. It had been forever since he'd made love like this, so careful and lazy, like they had all the time in the world.
"I don't deserve you," Jensen gasped, and Jeff wondered if those weren't droplets of water now, streaming down his cheeks.
Jeff licked away the bitter tears, tightening his fingers around Jensen's hands. He couldn't speak, knew Jensen might not believe him anyway. So he did the only thing he could, held on tight and filled Jensen with his cock, pulling one hand away to encircle Jensen's erection, his dick slippery and swollen.
"Come for me," Jeff whispered, lips pressed tight against Jensen's ear.
Jensen whimpered, jerking his hips without rhyme or reason, caught between Jeff's hand and his cock. He came with a sharp cry, hot come spilling into Jeff's fingers. Jeff shifted his grip, holding Jensen still as he raced towards his own completion, filling Jensen's insides with his semen.
When he moved to pull out, Jensen reached out with one hand, finally letting go of the wall. "Stay," he said. "Just a little bit longer."
And Jeff did.
***
Maggie wished she had gotten to see more of this place, other than the inside of the palace, the tram and that fucked up dungeon where Jensen had been held prisoner. She waited with Whitfield and Chikezie on the same terrace where they had landed, a tram hovering just off to the side, waiting for Commander Morgan to arrive.
It seemed everyone and their grandmother had come to see them off. The queen, and her sub, the gray haired man Maggie had seen for the first time; the princess and her sub; Peter, the sub who'd helped them rescue Jensen; Major Tappen and his master. And there were even more people Maggie didn't know, so she just stayed back with the equipment, waiting.
The conversation died down and Maggie looked over to see that Commander Morgan and Lt. Ackles had finally arrived. Jensen tugged at the collar of his uniform, standing a little bit behind Morgan. His gaze flickered over to Maggie for a moment and she attempted a smile. Still the image of him behind her eyes - naked and in pain, a victim of sexual torture - lingered. Maggie had to swallow down the bile in her throat, never expecting to come face to face with the realities of being a Sex Corps soldier.
"Finally getting out of here," Whitfield muttered from her side. He leaned over and hefted one of the equipment boxes.
Maggie frowned, not quite as eager to go. She'd barely scratched the surface of the technology here and she doubted she'd get the chance to ever do more than that. But she took the distraction and moved to grab her own crate of supplies, letting the motions of work override the direction her thoughts had taken.
***
Jensen felt overdressed, and yet oddly naked without the collar that Adrian had cut off. It wasn't a special memento or anything, just part of the equipment he had in his bag. But Jeff had put it on him, and it had been a symbol of what they had between them while in Harmony. Jensen knew once they made it back on the Mercury, everything would change.
The queen had approached Jeff as they made their way out onto the terrace. Jensen's eyes widened at the large group that had come to see them off. He saw Maggie attempt a smile and had to look away. He'd been laid bare before all of the Corps soldiers there, and while Jensen had thought he was long past shame, he found that wasn't entirely true, not in front of these soldiers.
"You have done us a great service, Commander Morgan," Michelle said. She looked at Jensen as she spoke. "Without you, a great blight would still be in our city. I only wish you hadn't had to suffer so."
Jensen caught sight of Peter - Levi now, again - hanging back, looking pale and out of place without a collar. He'd only had to suffer for a day, Levi had been enslaved for five years. He heard Jeff give their farewells to the queen, then they moved down the line, to say good-bye to everyone.
"Sub Jensen," Levi said, standing stiff and tall.
Rolling his eyes, Jensen gave in to his impulse to give the younger man a quick hug. "I forgave you the instant you asked," he whispered before pulling away. "What now?"
Levi shrugged. "Healer Nicci said she would take on a contract with me." His cheeks flushed as he spoke and Jensen remembered the way Nicci had fussed over Levi in her ward. "But I think I'll need some time first, before I'm ready for another master."
"I think you're on the right track," Jensen told him. He hoped Levi would have the chance to know what a true master was like, that he hadn't been broken beyond repair.
"Jensen!" he heard just before a small body slammed into his. Jensen reached down and ruffled Colin's hair.
"Hey kid," he murmured. This time he'd get to say goodbye to Colin. He wished the boy well, hoped he figured out his worries about training and his place as a sub. Jensen watched as Jeff moved to say his own goodbyes to Levi. Hell, you didn't have to be a kid to not know where you fit.
***
Jeff saved Major Tappen for last - well Sub Henry now, although he was pretty sure if he called Tappen by that name he'd have to dodge the fist to his face. "You gonna be okay here?" he murmured, though he was pretty darn sure Ian was listening to every word.
Tappen gave him one of his crooked grins. "You know me sir, I always land on my feet. I'm like a cat like that."
Jeff rolled his eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of."
Tappen's grin faded. "I'll do just fine, sir. Once I can convince this idiot that I can take care of myself in the field."
Now it was Ian's turn to roll his eyes. "Someday you will learn proper respect."
"And that'll be the day you drop my contract," Tappen scoffed.
Jeff decided that Tappen was going to be just fine.
***
Morgan and Ackles were already in the ready room when Loretta arrived, Morgan trying to look like he hadn't been playing with the malachite paperweight on her desk and Ackles staring out the window viewer, hands clasped behind his back. The Desert Moon hovered just outside, the ship that had arrived about a week late to deal with the Confed, but just in time for the personnel transfer.
Good thing Morgan had found Ackles, Loretta knew a few people who'd be more than pissed off if Ackles missed his transport. Course, she could wave the nicely brokered base agreement to counter that. These men had done damn good work.
"Well, Captain Ackles, it's good to see you safe and sound," she said.
He'd turned around to answer before she saw the realization in his eyes. "Sir?"
Loretta grinned at him, glad for once to be giving good news. "Promotion just came through. Good work, soldier."
Morgan grinned. "Congratulations, Captain."
Ackles ducked his head. "Thank you."
"You both did good work down there." Loretta dropped into her desk chair and tapped the tablet on the desk. "I'm looking forward to reading your full reports."
This time when Morgan and Ackles exchanged looks, Loretta got the feeling there was more going on. Ackles just had something in his eyes; he looked so different than the cocky lieutenant who'd stepped on her ship all those weeks ago. Now she really wanted to know what exactly happened down there.
"The Desert Moon brought a construction crew to begin the progress on the base. Some of your people are due shore leave, Commander. The files are in your comm. As are your new orders, Ackles."
"Shipping out tomorrow?" Ackles asked, his voice lacking any inflection.
She nodded. "As soon as the cargo is unloaded and the transfers complete."
"Wait," Morgan interrupted. "There needs to be a dom/sub team to liaison with Harmony. We agreed to it in the contract."
Loretta nodded. "That's been covered with the personnel transfer." She tapped the button on her desk. "Send them in."
The doors slid open, revealing the two young Scuts she'd only met when the Desert Moon arrived. Ferris had sent them at Loretta's request. They certainly met the requirements, the girl was a blond slip of a thing that wouldn't look out of place among Harmony's subs, or so Loretta assumed. She really had to get to those reports.
"Ackles, I should have known," the girl laughed.
"Bell." Ackles gave her a grin. "They sent you to take my place? Are they that hard up for help?"
She punched his shoulder, although Ackles dodged at the last moment. Loretta figured they had probably known each other for a while.
Ackles confirmed by introducing her to Morgan. "Captain Kristen Bell. We were at the Academy together. And Lieutenant Hodge?"
The other Scut nodded. "Yes, sir. I was a few years behind you both. I hope to live up to the Ackles legend."
Ackles shook his head. "Oh, really, you don't want to do that."
Morgan strode across the room and Loretta knew she wasn't imagining the glower on his face. "I suppose you're vouching for these two soldiers?"
Ackles grew serious. "Of course. Sir. I do think it's necessary to review the circumstances on Harmony with them. There are nuances not obvious in the mission reports."
"Do that, Captain," Loretta ordered. "Commander Morgan can debrief me."
Once again the two men exchanged looked and she knew she was missing something. Loretta decided she'd give Morgan the grilling of his life. Although just as Ackles was leaving with his comrades, she thought she might have it figured out, the way the young man sent back a longing glance at Morgan, as if he didn't want to leave the man's presence.
Well, well, well. Now wasn't this unexpected. She'd have an especially long message to send to Ferris later.
***
Aldis had heard stories about Jensen Ackles at the Academy - who hadn't? He'd been one of the Sex Corp's greatest successes, right before his demotion. Aldis had wanted to ask about that, remembering the whispers about how Ackles had stormed out of General Jim Beaver's office and slammed his fist into the wall, leaving a dent that the cadets still talked about.
Right now, sitting in the quarters Captain Bell had been assigned on the Mercury, Aldis couldn't see that kind of temper. If anything, Ackles looked distracted, unable to sit still, wandering around the room, poking at the appliances in the kitchenette, and rarely looking either of his fellow Scuts in the eye.
Bell didn't seem to notice, she had been taking notes for the past two hours, barely looking up from her tablet. She would be going in as the sub, because of her eye color, despite the fact that she outranked him. Aldis had made a crack about that on the voyage over, only to have Bell smile sweetly and reply, "That just means you'll have to do all the hard work, Hodge. Subs just get to sit back and orgasm."
How did that woman get the best of him every damn time?
"One last question, Ackles," Bell frowned down at her tablet, probably realizing she wouldn't be able to refer to it every time she needed it down on planet. "What's the one thing we can't forget under any circumstance?"
Ackles finally stopped messing with the coffee maker and turned to face them both, leaning against the wall. "Two things, I guess. Contracts rule everything down there. You can even admit you're only together because of the mission. But they'll respect you more if they believe there is honest affection between the two of you. Think you can manage that, lieutenant?"
Aldis threw him a sloppy salute. "Yes, sir. Nobody can fake affection better than me."
Ackles rolled his eyes. "And they'll see through that faster than you think. It's like a planet filled with hundreds of General Ferris. I sure hope you like this guy, Bell, otherwise your mission is fucked."
"We've worked together before," Bell supplied. "I'm sure it will be fine."
"Under normal circumstances, probably. But the queen is going to be looking for lies. She's got a mess on her hands with the Pasdar problem."
Right, Hodge thought, the guys that held Ackles prisoner in a failed attempt at rebellion. "Maybe we can offer to help with that," he suggested. "Earn us some good will."
Ackles finally looked at him, quirking a grin with those pretty lips. "Hodge, there may just be hope for you yet.
***
Jensen let his shoulders drop the closer he got to Jeff's quarters. Not that it wasn't fun talking shop with Kristen and Aldis, speaking to people who simply got what he meant when he referred to how things were on 328. But he wanted this last night with Jeff so badly, knowing that tomorrow he'd be gone.
The red duty uniform he'd changed into once onboard felt heavy on his skin, stiff and scratchy compared to the soft clothes in Harmony. The color set him apart from the rest of the Space Corps and their blue uniforms, and it was just another reminder of where his duty lay. He paused just outside of the door, his hand raised to slide over the sensor to open it.
Part of him wanted to turn around and find someplace else to sleep, pick up his things from Jeff's room in the morning and avoid seeing him again. It would make things easier. Jeff deserved so much more than a broken slut who got off no matter who was fucking him. Hell, Jensen had got off on being raped, that sure wasn't a quality most people looked for in a mate.
But he couldn't walk away, because he wanted to be with Jeff so badly. Jensen's body ached, as if it remembered how Jeff had touched him, marking Jensen's skin with his hands and lips. He thrummed inside, needing to feel that touch again. Jensen wanted to take the memory of Jeff's body inside his, the way they melted together, like they could never be separated. He wanted to hold on to that, even when he had to let someone else fuck him.
Jensen touched his fingers to the sensor, surprised when the door simply slid open. Jeff must have given him access to his room, which made sense since all of Jensen's things were still packed neatly in his duffel bags, with the exception of the few toys he'd taken to 328 with them.
He walked into the dark room, the only light coming from the terminal in the corner, its glow enough to illuminate Jeff under the covers of his bed, one arm thrown over the extra pillow. Jensen smiled at the sight, Jeff looked like he missed having a warm body lying next to him. He stripped off his uniform, toeing off his boots with record speed. Relieved to be naked again, free of the weight of responsibility for the moment, Jensen pulled back the covers and tucked himself in next to Jeff.
Jeff responded by rolling over and pinning Jensen to the bed. "Did you think you could sneak in here and not wake me up?"
Jensen smiled up at him, though he couldn't make out much more than the shadows of Jeff's face. "I know better than that. Lights, 20 percent," he ordered, not wanting to do this in the dark.
Jeff's thickening cock brushed against his as Jeff ground their hips together. "Missed me, huh?"
"Yeah, especially after going over the mission in detail." Jensen licked his lips.
"Don't tell me how much detail," Jeff moaned, leaning down to nibble at Jensen's mouth.
Jensen closed his eyes and relished the feel of Jeff's lips against his, so soft and gentle when he wanted to be, but always a moment away from biting and forceful. Jeff tried to be whatever Jensen needed. He'd learned a lot down there, Jensen thought, catching his fingers in Jeff's thick hair, mussed by sleep so that it stood up in a hundred different directions. Jensen wondered if he hadn't done the other man a disservice, teaching him the secrets only to leave just as soon as they vacated Harmony.
Jeff pulled away, his breath warm against Jensen's chin. "Stop thinking so much."
"Make me," Jensen said, a challenge as he jerked his chin up, hoping the spark in his eyes matched the fire he saw in Jeff's.
With a sly looking smirk, Jeff took Jensen by the wrists and held his hands up over their heads. "Too bad I can't just think you into restraints here."
Jensen twisted and pulled, attempting to break free. He relished the tight grip, Jeff's fingers digging into his arms hard enough to leave bruises. Jeff's body, heavier by height and mass, kept him down on the bed, unable to move unless Jeff wished it. Jensen's cock swelled even further, so hard he thought he'd never soften again.
"You actually have to work for it," he teased, the taunting lessened by the gasps he had to take between words.
"Mmm," Jeff growled into his ears. "If I tell you to keep your arms up here, you're damn well going to keep them there."
"Yes, sir." Jensen arched his back, pushing up against Jeff, enjoying how it felt to squirm, to brush his cock up against Jeff's thigh.
Jeff slid back, nuzzling against Jensen's bare chest, his stubble grazing him slightly, sending prickles of sensation along his skin. Jensen could finally enjoy this, no longer over-sensitized from his time in the Oubliette. Damn it, he didn't want to be thinking about that now, he wanted to enjoy this, to think only of Jeff.
And Jeff made it easy to forget the world. He mouthed down Jensen's abdomen, licking at the bare belly button almost disappointedly. Jensen would be getting a different tracer once on the Desert Moon, but this was the first time he'd miss one. Just the thought of how Jeff loved to play with that thing had him leaking precome, dick straining towards Jeff.
"I have plans for you," Jeff said, kissing the head of Jensen's cock with an obscene noise.
How could this man make him want to laugh and moan at the same time?
"I want to ride you," Jeff said, coming up to straddle Jensen's waist, looking down at him with a serious dark gaze. At first Jensen didn't get the connotation, Jeff had ridden him hard for weeks, what was the difference now?
And then Jeff poured the lube into Jensen's outstretched palm. "In me," Jeff ordered, voice husky as he lifted himself up and spread his legs, leaving just enough room for Jensen to slip behind his heavy balls - so soft as his fingers brushed against them - to seek out his tight hole.
Jeff rocked against him, rolling his hips into Jensen's fingers, fucking himself with short motions. Even like this, being opened up in the most intimate way, Jeff was still in control. This man, Jensen thought, his chest tightening with aw, this take charge soldier, this grieving widower, this dom was everything Jensen had hoped for, but never thought he'd find.
And now he was leaving, again. For once Jensen wanted with everything inside him to stay, to belong to Jeff. But Harmony was just a fairy tale he'd visited for a while. Out there the Confed and the war waited. And Jensen had his job to do; his body didn't really belong to him at the moment.
"Slick yourself," Jeff ordered, pulling away and breaking Jensen out of the way his mind had wandered.
"Fuck," Jensen murmured. He slid the hand that had just been inside Jeff up and down his own cock, already a bit slick from the leaking slit. Jeff watched him with dark eyes, and Jensen strained to see approval there, that he was doing well, doing just what Jeff had asked.
"That's my slut," Jeff murmured as Jensen moaned, arching into his own hand. "My turn."
Jeff straddled him again, shifting up on his knees to line himself up with Jensen's cock and slide. Down. So. Fucking. Slowly.
Jensen may have cursed his mother. But really, Jeff could be a sadistic bastard when he put his mind to it, and Jensen liked it.
Jeff arched his body as he moved, his head thrown back to show the straining muscles in his neck as he worked himself down onto Jensen's too hard cock. Jensen bit his lip and hoped he would last. Jeff was so damn tight, too tight.
When he'd seated himself fully, Jeff gave him a shit-eating grin that Jensen had to return. Jeff leaned forward, lifting himself off a bit, to bite at Jensen's lips. He interlaced their fingers together, gripping Jensen's hands tightly and holding them down on the bed as he rolled his hips, rocking onto Jensen's body.
Jensen dug his heels against the mattress, fighting with himself not to come, not to arch into Jeff's body. He wanted to roll the other man over, to drive himself into that tight ass until everything whited out into perfect orgasm. But Jeff controlled the pace, the slow movement that Jensen felt sure was going to kill them both.
"Please," he murmured. "C'mon, ride me."
"You want it so bad," Jeff whispered, almost as if talking to himself. He picked up the pace, nearly losing the rhythm as he lost himself in the movement of his body.
"Come on me," Jensen begged, unable to lift his hands to touch Jeff's thick red cock. It slapped against Jensen's belly, forcing him to watch, remember how much pleasure he'd received from it. If he were more flexible, he'd arch up and take it into his mouth right now, but Jensen was no Misha. The best he could hope for was Jeff to mark him with hot strands of his come.
Jeff moaned at his words, letting go with one hand to jerk himself with stuttered motions, as if he were too far gone to keep up a good rhythm. He arched into his hand and then slammed back down on Jensen. Jensen cried out, so close and unable to hold back.
He threw his head back as he came, just as Jeff's hot come covered his chest and belly. Jensen wanted it all over him, wanted to smell like Jeff always, to be marked as his property. He filled Jeff's body, marveling at the exquisite tightness, the perfect moment where he felt stretched out and connected to Jeff at the same time.
Jeff eased off slowly, rolling off to the side as he panted. "Stars, is it always gonna be like that?"
"Like what?" Jensen asked, already drowsy with sleep. He should wipe himself off, or else they'd be stuck together in the morning.
Jeff shrugged, nuzzling against Jensen's shoulder, one arm already thrown over his chest. "Like . . . fucking incredible."
Jensen laughed softly, turning his head to brush a kiss against Jeff's forehead. "Yeah," he told him. "It's always gonna be like that."
He wished it were a promise he could keep. Jeff knew the score, though, he had to. Jensen would be gone in the morning. He couldn't ask Jeff to make any promises, not when neither of them knew if Jensen was even coming back. He'd been lucky enough to survive in the field this long, but Jensen knew that Scuts often didn't make it.
Jeff needed someone he could count on, someone he could come home to in the evenings. Not another soldier who had his own duty. Jensen wondered what Jeff's wife had been like, the woman he'd left behind who had died. He couldn't do that to Jeff again.
As his eyes closed Jensen had made up his mind. Jeff shouldn't be tied to him. Best make it a clean break.
***
"Did you think you'd be able to sneak out of here without me knowing?" Jeff asked, knowing he hadn't hidden any of his anger.
Why should he? He'd barely caught Jensen before he'd made it out of the door, both packed duffels slung over his shoulders, not a scrap of his possessions anywhere in Jeff's quarters.
Jensen's head dropped and his shoulders slumped. "You have to let me go," he said, his voice low and broken.
"The fuck I do," Jeff snapped. He threw the covers off and reached for a pair of sweat pants. This wasn't the kind of conversation you had naked. He needed something to buffer him from Jensen's perfect red uniform. How did he manage to look so polished in clothes Jeff knew had spent the night on the floor?
As if knowing they were gearing up for a discussion - fight - Jensen dropped the bags and finally turned around. He face had been arranged into a careful mask, not unlike the one worn by the queen of Harmony. But Jensen never had learned to school his eyes, which were pleading with Jeff right now. For once, Jeff could not give Jensen what he wanted.
"Jensen," he said, deliberately using his lover's name, forcing him to acknowledge this thing between them. "You think I can just let you go? Look at me." He forced Jensen's face up, capturing his chin between his fingers. "That's not what you want."
Jensen reached out with two hands, as if to push Jeff away, however, he didn't get that far, leaving them to rest on Jeff's bare chest, burning hot against his skin. "What I want doesn't matter. It's never mattered."
"Bullshit."
"Not according to the UP government," Jensen snapped, eyes alive with green fire. "I have one more year on my duty tour. You think you can deal with it? An entire year of other people having me? Fucking me? Touching this body you think is yours?"
"It is mine," Jeff growled. He saw red at the idea, other men taking, using his Jensen. Jeff had wanted to slam Adrian into the ground and kick his head in at the mere thought of what the former duke had done to his Jensen. He couldn't let it happen again.
"No. Commander." Jensen shook his head, pulling it out of Jeff's grasp. "It's not."
"Don't do this, Jensen, don't push me away." Maybe if he kept repeating it, Jensen would listen.
"What else am I supposed to do?"
Jeff hated how broken Jensen sounded, the way his face fell like he'd given up all hope. "You don't give up on me," Jeff told him, "And I won't give up on you."
Jensen rolled his eyes. "You're such an optimist."
"And you look like you could use some of that." Jeff ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. He just wanted to shake Jensen. "In a perfect universe, if you didn't have to be on the Desert Moon, would you still walk out that door?"
Jensen closed his eyes. "You know I wouldn't. But you damn well know I have to go."
Jeff nodded. "And I have my own obligations. To 328, and 511, and the entire fucking reclamation project. That doesn't mean we can't make this work."
"Jeff." Jensen finally looked at him again, that mask crumbling. "Where I'm going you can't comm me. I'll be in deep cover, infiltrating the very heart of the Confed. I might not come back. Can you live with that?"
Could he? Jeff's heart pounded against his chest. Katie was supposed to have been safe, in their cabin, waiting for him. But she died anyway. There was no such thing as safe, not in this universe.
"I'm going to have to, aren't I?" Jeff said softly, giving in to the temptation to caress Jensen's smooth cheek. "Because I can't let you go."
"Jeff," Jensen whispered, letting Jeff come close and kiss away any more objections.
"I'll send you messages," Jeff promised, "Fill your commbox so when you get home you'll have to spend days reading and listening to my voice . . ." He kissed Jensen's eyelids, his nose, the freckles that dotted his cheeks, memorizing the feel of him, how his skin tasted.
Jensen let out a little laugh. "I'm going to have a hard time getting rid of you, aren't I?"
"We'll just have to see who's the more stubborn," and although it was close, Jeff had a feeling he'd be the one winning out.
"All right," Jensen said, pulling Jeff closer.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Jensen closed his eyes as he parted his lips, letting Jeff dive in and taste. The kiss was open and wet, Jeff holding Jensen tightly, catching one hand in his hair. He'd have to remember this.
Jensen's comm crackled. "Captain Ackles?"
Jensen pulled away and touched a button. "Go ahead."
"The last shuttle is about to depart for the Desert Moon. We're waiting on you."
"I'll be there in ten." Jensen closed the connection. "Jeff. . ."
"Don't say goodbye," Jeff said. He stole one last kiss, sucking hard at Jensen's lower lip. This kiss they'd both remember.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Epilogue