apparantly, i'm sick. nasty, nasty sinus blockage that i hope doesn't get infected. i was here until after 8 last night and then didn't get much sleep. i really need a few days of peace, quiet and rest, but i doubt those are going to happen. there's probably a meeting this weekend and i need to get my first-day lecture for jr lab ready (the ( Read more... )

more days pass and the world hasn't ended. i still miss her, but i'm glad she's doing ok-ish. today is a very soul coughing kind of day. been working since i got here and it isn't bad. i'm feeling a little sick and very tired, but i hope that getting some sleep and drinking a bunch of juice will help that. the changes in weather this season ( Read more... )

hard to sleep lately. not really because of being depressed or whiny, but just too much happening in my head. have to write this presentation for the lab i'm teaching tomorow and i didn't get much done on it yesterday. too much of life got in the way i guess. relapsed yesterday and then stayed up talking to steve about it until something stupid ( Read more... )

well, interesting things have been happening. yesterday i actually had a decent and productive meeting with hong (shocking) and then today i sat around with orb long enough to figure out a way to isolate the problem with and subsequently fix our transistors. so it looks like i have reasonable (read "realistic and attainable") short- and long-term ( Read more... )

it might not be what i miss the most about her, but it's something i miss every day: the morning email. it was what started my brain every day. i know it isn't right to become dependant on something like that, but i still find myself hoping for one. but every morning it's just spam and garbage notifications. bleh ( Read more... )

so many mood swings lately. with luck i'm where i feel like i am in this process. biggest regret i have at this point is that i feel like i'm never going to get to repay her for all she has done for me. i was leeching for a long time in anticipation of giving back, but we never got there ( Read more... )

need to start getting more sleep. i should have gone to bed when i got tired three hours ago, but people were still up and i feel like i need to hang out and talk to people while they're here. steve's b-day went well, by all reports. i'm doing better now, but it's possible that's only temporary. we'll see how the coming days go. i'm going to ( Read more... )

i'm alawys amazed at the tranquility that comes over me when questions that have been burning a hole in my gut are answered. it's almost like i get permission to breathe again, granting me that slightly light-headed feeling upon the first breath after holding it for too long. wierd ( Read more... )

it's strange, but it just hit me that i could be an exceptional graduate student if i just cared a little more. the idea itself isn't really that strange, just that it feels like a grand revelation. i know, some of you are going to say "that's what we've been telling you for years" but i guess that's the difference between being told about ( Read more... )

woke up with a pretty nasty headache so i'm staying home today. this one feels like a sinus or tension headache, but i'm hoping it doesn't go migraine on me. ah well, i'll take some drugs and loaf about. i have plenty of work that i can do from here, so i guess it isn't that bad. i'm still a little pissed off that i have to drop the class i was ( Read more... )