Major inquiring after contents of cucumber-briefcase could only possibly mean *it ( Read more... )

Ah! Oh! Oh yes, right there! Oh, DARLING!!

I mean, ah... owie. The pain, the pain...

Z's hands on chest also *great* distraction, very warm and nice. But should probably maintain pathetic whimpers and complaints of pain, as Major looking ju~ust about guilty enough to do as Z asked and pull my trousers off to check for other injuries ( Read more... )

Ice! Oh God, need ice for by poor dose! Ab in doo much agony do care dat cold will probably make me all spotchy. Oh, oh! Id HURDS! Dob't doutch id, idiod!

By beaudiful beaudiful dose!! Id was so sdraighd and sculpded and arisdocradic, and dow id's ruined!

WAAAA~HHHHHH!

Have Major in double ball-buster groin hold. My trademark manouever, never been broken! Z asked where I'd learned wrestling moves. Told him was champ in High School, though neglected to mention that was 'extracurricular' league, and that bouts were conducted between the sheets.

Must remember to show off collection of phallic-shaped trophies

Am offended by Major's declaration that he won't be 'taken alive'. I might be pervert fop, but absolutely draw the line at necrophilia!!

Oh ( Read more... )

Remember now why I don't pick locks in arctic climes. Numb fingers and ice in the tumblers.

Axe... very heavy. Should have left this job to buff German boy, as am not sure I won't give out before this door will.

Waitaminute...