Even though I tend to disapprove of medication/drug use unless it's absolutely necessary, I take the (very) occasional caffeine pill to concentrate during important study sessions or big exams (each pill has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee, and I'd rather take a pill than consume useless calories from soda or trek to Kin's or ( Read more... )

I definitely woke up to crazy hair this morning. I accidentally fell asleep with my hair in a bun (while watching The X-Files), so when I released it, it exploded into a veritable cornucopia of kinks and twists and frizz.

I don't have class today until 6 pm! I don't know what to do with myself. I have any number of things to do, actually (World Lit ( Read more... )

"...and joy, it tends to hold you
with the fear that it eventually departs.
And the truth is I’ve been dreaming of some tired tranquil place
where the weather won’t get trapped inside my bones,
and if all these years of searching find one sympathetic face
then it's there I'll plant these seeds and make my home."


( Read more... )

When I got back to my room tonight, I thought I'd be in the mood to watch an epic love story (in the vein of Dr. Zhivago or The Far Pavilions), but I wasn't, so I watched Full House re-runs instead. Sometimes I wonder how much of my system of beliefs/morals has been derived from that show; I watched it growing up, in addition to lots of Disney ( Read more... )

After a long talk on the phone with my mother last night, during which I cried, I've decided not to pursue medicine. This is momentous, dear reader, because for the first time in my memory, I really do not know what I'm going to do with my life, but it's a wonderful feeling. I feel liberated, and entitled now to do whatever I love. Instead of ( Read more... )

I am very excited about this.

I'm participating in NaNoWriMo this year, and I wrote the required amount yesterday, but tonight, I'm feeling too much, and too distracted by these feelings to be able to write more than a few sentences at a time. Maybe it's hormones.

It's been slow going. I'm at 2209 words, but I need to reach 3400 to stay on track and fill the 1700-word-a-day ( Read more... )

I'm feeling strange, unreliable, and out of control lately. Maybe I've caught some of Hamlet's melancholy, and his sense of futility. All of the existentialist reading that Dr. Rossman assigned probably won't alleviate that, but who knows. I accidentally used hand soap on my face today, and now the skin on my face feels stretched out and dry. There ( Read more... )

I could have accomplished so much today, and I did not, and I am ashamed. There is so much to do.

But many questions are keeping me awake. How much of what happens in my life is a product of what I want? How much is due to what other people want for me, and how much is due to what they want for themselves? How much of my fate is pure chance?

In ( Read more... )

Being alive gives one tremendous responsibility to live usefully, but I go through periods of self-indulgence, when all I want to do is read and write and draw and paint and be a creative person and absorb the creativity of others. Is adding beauty and understanding to the world, or attempting to do so, a legitimate vocation? Or should one's ( Read more... )