For father's day, I thought I'd make a symbolic gesture. Because when I was temporarily a child, there was one person who cared for me like a father. One person who's always there to encourage me, bicker with me, and laugh at me when I wake up wearing a Spinal Tap shirt with a sporran and no kilt after a four-day lost weekend.

So, dear brother, I ( Read more... )

Well, as my girlfriend's ex-husband once said, I'm back.

Childhood is a fun place to visit, but I'm glad I don't live there anymore. When that Sam junior gets a little older, though, I must ask him if he's still interested in filling that whole evil-consort jobbie he offered me. Networking, that's what it's all about. Or so I'm told ( Read more... )

Cool. I'd like to see those mean losers try and get me to go to school now! Maybe I can get a pet lion or something, and wear cool goth clothes.

My brother gave me pocket money to go buy candy. But I'm tired, and my new friends Frodo and Sam have gone somewhere else, and my new friends Jade and Merin have gone somewhere else and I've losted my friend Rosie again. Maybe she's in Mr Baggins' garden, she wanted to get some flowers from there. He has a hat. So does my brother. I bet if I had a ( Read more... )

I feel weird. I wonder what happened. I wonder if there are any cats around here I can dress up in a bonnet and then carry around like a baby? Here kitty kitty!

How wonderful! Weddings are such joyful, happy things. Congratulations to you both.

Rose, dear, I've thought about you asking me to come away with you and my answer is yes. Chalk it up to the spirit of the day, or to the fact that the current situation with my brother and your ex-husband's spouse leaves me feeling vaguely like a Gamgee. Not that ( Read more... )

Well, you take a day to go to the spa and everything hits the fan!

Remind me not to threaten any of the Gamgees any time soon, it appears to be a fatal move for those who try it. Good thing I prefer shagging them, then.

I feel like blowing bubbles, we need some lighthearted fun. Anybody care to join me?

Rose, how could you? With my brother? And you didn't even ask if I'd like photos!

Fanfiction can be truly terrifying at times. Now come over, darling, and bring your flamethrower.

Rose, darling, don't fret about the goings-on between your Merry and your Bilbo. I mean, just look at my own marriage. My darling Merry and myself might not have lasted as long as we have without our shared attraction to the Gamgee family. It's good for lovers to share common parents interests. And even if Bilbo is only six, their relationship ( Read more... )

*Estella stirs the large copper pot and takes a small taste. Adds salt. Takes another taste. Nods, satisfied.*

Merry, dinner's ready! Frodo Gardner and his hot mamma Rosie are welcome to join us if they're around, I can't remember if they left or not. I'm such a pincushion lush scatterbrain!