Why does this keep coming up over and over and over...? Why can't I just get over it already? Or why can't he change? Is this one of those agree to disagree issues? But it's hard to do that when it's affecting our relationship. I tried ignoring it, I tried not caring, I tried to like smoking more myself, I tried to force myself to accept it, I ( Read more... )

I want to go to a sleepover and stay up all night giggling about who the cutest boy in our grade is. I want to paint nails with my friends with bright pinks and blues. I want to make chocolate spoons with my best friend. I want to go ice blocking. I want to go shopping with the girls. I want to stay up late talking on the phone. I want to make ( Read more... )

One minute I'm obscenely happy and the next I feel like none of it's worth it. How can we have so much in common and yet so much that is completely different? I feel like we're two magnets that randomly flip over, sometimes pulling toward each other uncontrollably and then instantly repelling each other whether we want to or not. Why isn't love ( Read more... )

What. Am I doing? Is it worth it to hold onto this? For what? Are we really gonna keep doing this distance thing for four freaking years. And then what? Get married? So if we're not, then the longer we keep it up, the more attached we'll get, and then the more it'll hurt when it eventually ends. So why not just cut the amount of pain by ending it ( Read more... )

Not having a chance? What was I talking about, we still have a chance to see how things will work out. And how things are working out is... amazing. I feel so happy and loved, even from 300 miles away. I never thought I'd be able to do the distance thing, and I don't think I could for just anyone. But for him I would. er, will. Am actually. Nothing ( Read more... )

Today was cloudy. And there was a chill to the air that wasn't there before; I shivered in my hoodie, sitting in the stands of shoreline stadium. I drove to work staring at the thick grey layer above me, so solid and solemn, and the sky seemed to be a reflection of what I was feeling ( Read more... )

It's all really happening. And it feels so weird. Allie actually left for India. I'm actually registering for classes at school and in a month i'll actually go. People are actually leaving this weekend. I'm actually moving on from the past and it's moving on from me. We're all growing up. And it all still seems so surreal. I feel like in a way i've ( Read more... )

Dear Asshole ( Read more... )

Talk about nostalgic. I really honestly thought I was over it and done with. For real this time. I'm genuinely happy for him. But then when I saw him, when I was next to him, when I was talking with him, listening to him, when his arm brushed mine.... I so don't deserve him. My life is sort of crumbling right now and he's standing strong. I can't ( Read more... )

I don't like this. Feeling all gobbledy gook inside. I feel alone. And yet after the day I've had I should feel like the least alone person on the planet. I think I have a weird security issue... I really like having someone specific there all the time, and when I don't have that it gives me this weird sinking feeling in my stomach and I just feel ( Read more... )