I really don't know what to do about this whole boy thing. I suddenly just have this strong urge to end things. Right now. I suddenly just don't want this anymore, don't like him anymore, aren't happy being with him. Which is weird. And besides, it's not like I'm actually going to break up with him right now. First of all I don't have the guts. And ( Read more... )

well, old friend, life is feelin a little downhill yet again. Despite the dire circumstances (being grounded until prom and missing out on folklife in particular) I was doing quite well. Ridiculously optimistic I'd say. Maybe even enjoying my housebound-ness so as to watch endless episodes of Lost... But all of a sudden I just don't feel okay. ( Read more... )

Why does life just kind of suck right now? Actually, no, not kind of. Why does life really suck? Why am I not happy. Like, at all. About anything. Why do I not feel right, but there's nothing I can put my finger on that is wrong? Why is nothing enough for me anymore. I'm acing all my classes, but I could really care less. My friends are being nice ( Read more... )

Something clicked. Something's different. Ever since we talked really late Saturday night, and then I saw him on Sunday and I just... was blown away by how much my heart filled up when i felt his arms around me. I saw him and felt something a lot stronger than before. It scares me though because up until now I felt like whatever, I'm leaving in ( Read more... )

Life is good. Which is why I'm surprised I'm writing in here because I usually only write in here when I'm feeling all teen-angsty. But, I don't know. I finally feel good about where everything is. Boy is fabulously wonderful and keeps surprising me every single day. Other boy is more and more old friend (and sort of new friend at the same time) ( Read more... )

why do i do this? is this normal? is it really normal, 6 months later, many many nights without him later, a few rebounds later, a freaking Boyfriend later, to be sitting on my bed and wanting nothing more than to talk to him. Why do i randomly get this little nagging to call him. I can't be doing this you know. I need to practice some self control ( Read more... )

jfeailfeadljal;ecai;ljflaeil ( Read more... )

Wow. wow wow wow. I never thought that I would end up talking to him of all people tonight. I had an absolutely awful day and my whole spring break so far has been generally shitty. So somewhere in the suckiness of today I just started missing him and everyone else was busy or I couldn't or didn't want to call them and then I started crying and ( Read more... )

Is there a word for frustrated times 10? That is what I feel right now. I want to cry and scream and apologize and yell and insult and hate and comfort and help all at the same time. I know that I am right and she is wrong. But feelings are never wrong. And she feels hurt. So what then ( Read more... )

Why do I feel like something is missing? When I'm with him everything feels perfect. But sitting up at 11 at night, by myself, I know he's asleep so I don't want to call. And besides, this isn't about him. I have a feeling he can't make this feeling go away ( Read more... )