I'm a shitty blogger.  I'm still dieting and starving, I just dont come here to write about it.  Probably because as much as I do those, I am also binging in between and it makes it hard to be accountable when I"m being so disgusting about it ( Read more... )

HAPPY:   down 8 lbs!  but that is over 10 days!

I cant wait to be seeing down 50 lbs.  CANT WAIT.

PISSED:  I didn't utter a word to my husband last night- he doesn't even care, makes no attempt to appologize, or anything.  I couldn't even cry.  Then about 1 am- i sat there staring at the wall, and had some tears, but mostly just mind blowing sobs ( Read more... )

I'm not a happy camper still.  NOT ONE BIT ( Read more... )

ARGH.  I"m not happy right now.

I"ve made it one week- if by making it I mean that I ate some chocolate earlier today. 3 mini chocolate santa claus', totalling 40 calories OUT OF ABSOLUTE LACK OF SELF CONTROL & STARVATION!

I was so angry with myself.  I wanted more and more after and just kept busy and ignored it, successfully, barely.

I am going to ( Read more... )

I SURVIVED!

I survived my very first day of restricting and diet.

I lived.  I think.  I have such a good feeling about this time, like I might actually be able to do it.  I drank liquids until I was peeing my pants, and floating around the house.  My son was bemused.  I did my best to not eat anything, and I figured out how to start training my brain ( Read more... )

**** WARNING. ALL MY POSTS WILL CONTAIN PROFANITY'S, SIGNS OF MENTAL ILLNESS (although i do not believe i truly am mentally challenged in any ways),  ODD BEHAVIOURS AND THOUGHTS, SELF HARM & INJURY AT TIMES, AND DREAMS OF A SMALL TOWN HOUSE WIFE, WHO IS CAGED IN******

I"m 26.  I"ll be 27 in May. I"m getting OLD.  I"ve got a family, a husband & a 19 ( Read more... )