Checking In 11.1
Thanks everyone for the lovely reviews and waiting patiently for the next story! *huggles*
Here begins Story 11: Error 404
Alan and Robert start to adjust once again to life without the other as a constant. Will the strain be too much?
Title: Checking In
Fandom: RPS
Story: Highway: Error 404 11.1
Characters: Alan Davies and Robert Sean Leonard
Authors: michelleann68 + evila_elf = evila_ann
Prompt: 10_per_genre 03 Isolation (Angst)
Word Count: 1193
Rating: PG
Summary: Alan’s parting words are effecting both men more than they should.
Authors’ Notes: Feel free to friend us if you want to read a day ahead of the communities.
Where it all began:
Big table of prompts is here:
Order of the story is here:
Previous story:
The Long Goodbye
“I love you.” Alan pauses, as if awaiting an answer.
Robert opens his mouth, wanting to return the sentiment, but no sound emerges. It is like there is an obstruction wedged deep in his throat, barely giving him breath. Choking him.
Alan’s smile fades and he steps away, beginning to turn. “I loved you…”
“Wait…” Robert’s voice is weak and no more than a whisper, so soft that he can barely hear it. “Alan, don’t leave me…”
Robert woke in a cold sweat, a feeling of dread clinging to him and getting him jumping to his feet before he fully knew what had scared him. He stumbled into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water from the tap, barely able to keep his hands steady enough so he could drink.
Alan knew how he felt, surely. But why was it so difficult to just tell Alan? Of course he loved him, but those words shouldn’t be meant for some three-time-a-year tryst. They should be for someone who he could actually settle down and have a family with. Someone who was a member of the opposite sex. No. Now was not the time to have an identity crisis. If Alan would let him, they would keep on doing this until they grew old together. But would Alan settle for this?
Robert sighed. His second night without Alan in his bed was sure going well. Knowing that sleep wouldn’t come and having to get up in two hours anyway, he fired up his computer, looking to pass the time. Surprised, he found an e-mail from Alan waiting:
To: Bob theaterbobby@hotmail.com
From: Alan Davies gunnerfan01@hotmail.com.uk
Cc:
Subject: Checking in
Hey, love,
Plane touched in late-or early-and I’m knackered. Was going to call, but afraid I wouldn’t be very much of a conversationalist.
Loved the time we shared this past week and I am missing you terribly already.
Alan
Xxoo
Robert smiled at the e-mail, dream slowly fading from his thoughts. With a relived smile, he stood to go shower and remove the last traces of the dream before sitting back down and replying.
***
Alan stumbled in the door, exhausted. Any sleep he had hoped to get on his flight back to London was dashed when he was seated next to a woman in first class who had just been dumped by her boyfriend. Alan listened, then tried not to listen, as she sobbed and cried and tried to tell anyone who was seated near her about how he cheated on her with some cheap whore. Alan covered his head with a pillow and turned up his ipod, hoping to block her out. Each time he started to get some rest she seemed to poke him some how. Now he was miserable, he was tired, and he wanted to hear Robert’s voice.
He knew talking to Robert would make him feel better, but he had left Robert in a slight state of shock. He knew that they really needed to talk, but that was not happening tonight, not with the way he felt. So he dropped off his bag and started shedding clothes as his computer warmed up.
He sat down and through bleary eyes, Alan wrote a brief e-mail to Robert. It would have to do. Pressing send, Alan took off his socks and finished undressing, slipping into a quick shower to remove the stench of the airplane.
Alan closed his eyes as he let the water wash over his skin, taking away the stress of the flight and the pangs of loneliness. Alan toweled off and stepped from the shower. As he dried his hair, he stopped by the computer and his heart sank a little not to see a reply.
Yawning a few times, he tossed the damp towels back in the bathroom and lay down in bed. The soft cotton sheets felt nice on his skin, the pillow cradling his head, and he closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to envelop him. His body was exhausted, but his mind kept waiting for the small beep that would let him know Robert had replied. His mind fought against the exhaustion of his body and it lay there, eyes open, staring at the ceiling.
Part of him was happy that he was able to tell Robert that he loved him without crowding him into replying, but the insecure part of him, that at times seemed to occupy most of his thoughts, was kicking him for taking a risk and once again pushing Robert. They had had a wonderful time, a great week, and he had to ruin it by putting pressure on Robert.
Alan had spent most of the drive from the cabin thinking about what to say, about how to say good bye. Each word was carefully weighed and considered. He thought about saying it when they crossed the bridge into New York, then he thought about just whispering it, putting into the air and seeing if Robert heard him. Finally, he settled on whispering it in Robert’s ear as he left the car. To let him have the thought, said from his heart, not expecting or requesting to hear anything back. Words said with all the emotion that he felt for Robert. It was almost 18 months now and Alan did not want to think of a life without the theater geek in his life. But he was tired of playing it safe and after so long, he should be able to express himself without worrying that Robert will get scared and run for the hills. Now, Alan started to rethink things. He did not want to push Robert and risk losing him, but he thought he was being silly for thinking that. They had a deeper relationship than that. Didn’t they?
Alan opened his eyes and slowly sat up, looking at his monitor and trying to make out the screen and see if he had missed the beep and there was a message. Still nothing. Alan lay back down and looked up into the dark. He decided now was the time to reassure himself and not get consumed by the doubt that crept in the edges of his thoughts. Alan closed his eyes and thought of his time with Robert, the laughter and the tenderness, the moments when the world was reduced to just them. Walking, talking, touching and holding … a series of memories that warmed him from the inside out. He remembered the look on Robert’s face on New Years when Robert had walked back out and invited him from off the couch into his bed with a nervous look of expectation. He remembered the look on their anniversary in July, full of passion and need, and he remembered the look on his face when they woke entangled together at the cabin, gentle and soft. All the looks of love that Robert gave him passed by his face and Alan looked at each one, till his heart ached only with loneliness and he stopped worrying and he drifted off to sleep.
A few minutes later, the computer beeped, signaling a new e-mail. Alan snored on.
11.02 A Distant Holiday
Here begins Story 11: Error 404
Alan and Robert start to adjust once again to life without the other as a constant. Will the strain be too much?
Title: Checking In
Fandom: RPS
Story: Highway: Error 404 11.1
Characters: Alan Davies and Robert Sean Leonard
Authors: michelleann68 + evila_elf = evila_ann
Prompt: 10_per_genre 03 Isolation (Angst)
Word Count: 1193
Rating: PG
Summary: Alan’s parting words are effecting both men more than they should.
Authors’ Notes: Feel free to friend us if you want to read a day ahead of the communities.
Where it all began:
Big table of prompts is here:
Order of the story is here:
Previous story:
The Long Goodbye
“I love you.” Alan pauses, as if awaiting an answer.
Robert opens his mouth, wanting to return the sentiment, but no sound emerges. It is like there is an obstruction wedged deep in his throat, barely giving him breath. Choking him.
Alan’s smile fades and he steps away, beginning to turn. “I loved you…”
“Wait…” Robert’s voice is weak and no more than a whisper, so soft that he can barely hear it. “Alan, don’t leave me…”
Robert woke in a cold sweat, a feeling of dread clinging to him and getting him jumping to his feet before he fully knew what had scared him. He stumbled into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water from the tap, barely able to keep his hands steady enough so he could drink.
Alan knew how he felt, surely. But why was it so difficult to just tell Alan? Of course he loved him, but those words shouldn’t be meant for some three-time-a-year tryst. They should be for someone who he could actually settle down and have a family with. Someone who was a member of the opposite sex. No. Now was not the time to have an identity crisis. If Alan would let him, they would keep on doing this until they grew old together. But would Alan settle for this?
Robert sighed. His second night without Alan in his bed was sure going well. Knowing that sleep wouldn’t come and having to get up in two hours anyway, he fired up his computer, looking to pass the time. Surprised, he found an e-mail from Alan waiting:
To: Bob theaterbobby@hotmail.com
From: Alan Davies gunnerfan01@hotmail.com.uk
Cc:
Subject: Checking in
Hey, love,
Plane touched in late-or early-and I’m knackered. Was going to call, but afraid I wouldn’t be very much of a conversationalist.
Loved the time we shared this past week and I am missing you terribly already.
Alan
Xxoo
Robert smiled at the e-mail, dream slowly fading from his thoughts. With a relived smile, he stood to go shower and remove the last traces of the dream before sitting back down and replying.
***
Alan stumbled in the door, exhausted. Any sleep he had hoped to get on his flight back to London was dashed when he was seated next to a woman in first class who had just been dumped by her boyfriend. Alan listened, then tried not to listen, as she sobbed and cried and tried to tell anyone who was seated near her about how he cheated on her with some cheap whore. Alan covered his head with a pillow and turned up his ipod, hoping to block her out. Each time he started to get some rest she seemed to poke him some how. Now he was miserable, he was tired, and he wanted to hear Robert’s voice.
He knew talking to Robert would make him feel better, but he had left Robert in a slight state of shock. He knew that they really needed to talk, but that was not happening tonight, not with the way he felt. So he dropped off his bag and started shedding clothes as his computer warmed up.
He sat down and through bleary eyes, Alan wrote a brief e-mail to Robert. It would have to do. Pressing send, Alan took off his socks and finished undressing, slipping into a quick shower to remove the stench of the airplane.
Alan closed his eyes as he let the water wash over his skin, taking away the stress of the flight and the pangs of loneliness. Alan toweled off and stepped from the shower. As he dried his hair, he stopped by the computer and his heart sank a little not to see a reply.
Yawning a few times, he tossed the damp towels back in the bathroom and lay down in bed. The soft cotton sheets felt nice on his skin, the pillow cradling his head, and he closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to envelop him. His body was exhausted, but his mind kept waiting for the small beep that would let him know Robert had replied. His mind fought against the exhaustion of his body and it lay there, eyes open, staring at the ceiling.
Part of him was happy that he was able to tell Robert that he loved him without crowding him into replying, but the insecure part of him, that at times seemed to occupy most of his thoughts, was kicking him for taking a risk and once again pushing Robert. They had had a wonderful time, a great week, and he had to ruin it by putting pressure on Robert.
Alan had spent most of the drive from the cabin thinking about what to say, about how to say good bye. Each word was carefully weighed and considered. He thought about saying it when they crossed the bridge into New York, then he thought about just whispering it, putting into the air and seeing if Robert heard him. Finally, he settled on whispering it in Robert’s ear as he left the car. To let him have the thought, said from his heart, not expecting or requesting to hear anything back. Words said with all the emotion that he felt for Robert. It was almost 18 months now and Alan did not want to think of a life without the theater geek in his life. But he was tired of playing it safe and after so long, he should be able to express himself without worrying that Robert will get scared and run for the hills. Now, Alan started to rethink things. He did not want to push Robert and risk losing him, but he thought he was being silly for thinking that. They had a deeper relationship than that. Didn’t they?
Alan opened his eyes and slowly sat up, looking at his monitor and trying to make out the screen and see if he had missed the beep and there was a message. Still nothing. Alan lay back down and looked up into the dark. He decided now was the time to reassure himself and not get consumed by the doubt that crept in the edges of his thoughts. Alan closed his eyes and thought of his time with Robert, the laughter and the tenderness, the moments when the world was reduced to just them. Walking, talking, touching and holding … a series of memories that warmed him from the inside out. He remembered the look on Robert’s face on New Years when Robert had walked back out and invited him from off the couch into his bed with a nervous look of expectation. He remembered the look on their anniversary in July, full of passion and need, and he remembered the look on his face when they woke entangled together at the cabin, gentle and soft. All the looks of love that Robert gave him passed by his face and Alan looked at each one, till his heart ached only with loneliness and he stopped worrying and he drifted off to sleep.
A few minutes later, the computer beeped, signaling a new e-mail. Alan snored on.
11.02 A Distant Holiday