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Managing toxic people in you life is a survival skill I still haven't gotten the hang of.
Being alone is safer. -
what to say
there's been a lot of death in my life. Most of it has been sudden or people who aren't so close. my run of death being casual runs out soon. one of my close Friends is terminal and I am now struggling with what to say to him. I really don't know at all -
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I'm angry. Still, and it's this pent up anger that is slowly killing me. I've been angry most of my life and I have no idea how to deal with it. It's my vice. I would gladly trade it for something else. -
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sigh. sometimes I can't say no. -
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6 years ago I watched my ex burn out from her corp job, quit and watch TV for two years. Ironically, I just spent the last 5 hours in front of the TV and I feel like I'm in the same place. It isn't just work but the whole toxic environment around me here in New England. I'm not sure where to chip at first. -
the last time I felt.
The last time I fell in love was a moment I remember quite well. Not a crazy whirl wind time but a normal moment. One of those every day events that surprised me and caught me off guard. It was a particularly trying day at the office. I had been having many of those. I got home, and was exhausted cranky and tired. I wasn't sure I wanted ( Read more... ) -
Christmas
Since I have no real family that celebrates Christmas I have continually sought out surrogate Christmas over the years. Over the past decade I have not had a Christmas repeat. This year is no different.
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a gift
I got a gift last year from a well respected fighter. I accepted the gift at the time without a real appreciation of what it meant. It was an old Hong Kong style braided sash used to hold the fat in your gut together while you trained. It just happens to be black. it was a formal acceptance in the Hak Yeung Pai. An honour I wasn't really ready ( Read more... ) -
adapting
So I've been in the US now over four years and every so often I notice a Canadian habit that I can't seem to adapt. This one is about money. Whenever I open my wallet to pay for something I always have a moment of pure confusion. how much cash do I have? Everything is the same colour!!!. Canadian money is easy to find. at a glance you can ( Read more... ) -
my biggest fear
is that nobody will be around when I cannot take care of myself.