i opened google chrome and typed "www.livejournal.com".  it only took me 2 tries before typing in the correct password.  funny how time passes, but the brain never forgets.

life.
life.
life.
what do you want from me?

D -

You may not care nor appreciate this, but I’m taking advantage and looking at this letter as my last chance to explain my actions and say my peace.

It’s taken months for me to realize that all 3 of us took part in the bomb that exploded in October.  You, her, and I were all at fault. You lied - whether or not you lied to her, you definitely hid ( Read more... )

And another one comes & goes.  Without warning & without showing any emotion this one decides to slowly no longer be a part of my life.  I'm not even sad, just frustrated.  He didn't even acknowledge the fact that he continued to break promises.  Even though I said I didn't want an apology, any other normal human being would have apologized for his ( Read more... )

have you ever hugged someone & felt like they were the missing piece to your puzzle? it's as if their body fits perfectly with yours. yeah, that happened to me this weekend & it kind of freaked me out - in both a good & bad way.

it was definitely interesting to see the way he was in his own element. his excitement & happiness filled my heart with ( Read more... )

half of my heart's got a grip on the stituation
half of my heart takes time
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that i can't keep loving you
oh, with half of my hearti am so guarded it's ridiculous. he was the sweetest guy i've ever dated, but he turned out to be a liar & broke my heart. he wasn't even in my life for very long, but ( Read more... )

here i am. returning to vent.

the last guy came & went.  i lost 10 pounds because of that loss.  i can't even believe how much he affected my life.  then again, i can.  i get so involved, i trust so easily, i fall so deeply, it's no wonder i'm such a mess when someone tells me they no longer want me.

i hate replaying the good memories though - all of ( Read more... )

i'm dating someone who has a kid. now this wouldn't be that major if the kid's mom wasn't psycho ( Read more... )

I'm on glass #7 of merlot? possibly #8? who knows, i've been re-filling before my glass is even empty. lots to think about. lots to sort through.  i don't understand why i've neglected livejournal all of this time.  i love to write.  in fact, i just mentioned that to a girlfriend of mine.....writing helped me find myself.  writing helped me to ( Read more... )

I'm back.  My mom was right, I did have a hard year.  I wonder if I'll ever fully let go.  I wonder if my hopes will finally disappear and I will accept the fact that he is not coming back.  I just hate walking away knowing things could have worked had he stopped allowing his pride to get in the way.  But I guess that's who he is.. and I wouldn't ( Read more... )

after talking to my sister, i've figured out what my problem is - i want to fix you, but i can't. i've tried over and over and over again.. & it wasn't until saturday morning that i realized, it's not my responsibility.  & maybe i felt that it was my responsibility because i honestly believed i was the only person that would ever understand you.  ( Read more... )