i just want to say that ice is the best stuff in the world. and i'm not talking about the drug either in case you're wondering. i mean just plain old frozen water. i love it!!! absolutely calorie-free -- no, better than calorie free cause it actually forces you to burn calories -- and it fills you up too!

yay for ice!

ok, so yesterday didn't work out so well -- my brother came over (and i hate him with a passion but am scared of him so i can't tell him to go away) and i ate heaps of sushi and dinner and stuff. it was gross. however, i also feel heaps better today because of a few things ( Read more... )

ok, seeing as i've been really terrible lately with bingeing, i'm going to try something different. i'm going to write myself a diet plan, and STICK TO IT ( Read more... )

i am so angry at myself. i was going to make sure that by the time julian got back from his trip i would be soooo skinny. but instead i binge and eat horrible fatty food! why do i do that??? the really stupid thing is that most of the food i eat i don't even really like! for example, yesterday i ate all these monte carlo biscuits, which i really ( Read more... )

on the 22nd i see a psychiatrist. i hate to say it but i suspect julian (the bf) is right in saying it's only going to make things worse. i don't dare tell him though. it's a pride thing. but i can just see myself spending my time there talking about how much weight i want to lose and so on, and it will only make me more determined to get thinner ( Read more... )

well, when i wrote my last entry i was so sure things would get better straight away. as it is, for some reason this "coming out" has only made me more determined to lose weight. yesterday i ate one plum, a small bowl of pasta and a tiny piece of quiche. today i ate a tiny bowl of cereal, one bite of a pancake, and a little bit of the roast that ( Read more... )

i told my mum about what's going on for me. i wan't going to but last night after i ate dinner i had a HUGE panic attack and if i hadn't promised to my boyfriend i wouldn't make myself throw up, i would have. anyway, i was really scared. it was like i could feel the fat from dinner just seeping into me, invading my body, it was seriously scary. and ( Read more... )

ok. this is just for all my talk about food, fasting, weight-loss etc. i want to lose weight. i know it's unhealthy, but i can't change it. there is something driving me, something that makes me want to be so thin that people in the street stop and stare. i am 168cm tall (5'6") and at the moment i weigh 49kilos. i am hoping that by the time i start ( Read more... )