george carlin died.
that's pretty fucking sad.

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so, last year i sold several magic: the gathering cards on ebay and garnered around eighty bucks. a few months ago i hear this disjointed tale of some card guru who has ten playsets of every card ever pre-Odyssey block, and his basement floods. it's a fairy tale everyone hears once a year. i guess this one was true, and all the prices are sky- ( Read more... )

hi.
propel sucks.
artificial sweetener causes cancer and failure at life. i.e. dying and/or loudly complaining that they don't have your favorite diet/no sugar/no caffeine/no reason for drinking it beverage.

you may have to do 482 more sit-ups if you drink vitamin water over propel,
but what they're not telling you is ( Read more... )

if there are questions that have been lingering around your brain for any real length of time, let them die. forget the questions.

the truth hurts more than the lies. 

me: *laughing*
miranda: what's so funny?
me: so they said 'cell reconstruction', right? she said it so fast it sounded like 'celery construction' hahaha.
miranda: yes, they're building with celery.
me: hey, with enough peanut butter and raisins, you can do anything.

did everything just taste purple for a second?

one of the most memorable experiences i ever had on lsd was on the beach. a friend handed me half a ten-strip and told me to "man up." i placed them on my tongue, let them dissolve and then washed it down with gatorade. a few conversations later, the fire began to take human form and play a black ( Read more... )

Post ANY comment to my post, and ( Read more... )

to better understand this entry, read this first.

batten down the hatches.

this one ends a bit different. i never fall and trip. i get shot though, and i keep running. the parking lot turns into the lot at work and i run in the door. i suddenly have a large black duffel bag filled with various weapons. i yell to all my employees, "if any of you ( Read more... )

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