I like to see the events of my life and my reactions to such chronicled on a page. Justification for a pointless journal entry ( Read more... )

D'ohh...stupid weekends. I've got a boring life, and it will always be so. I suspect I am unpleasant company. I'm tired, and critical, and resignedly uninterested. Almost all of my friends are absorbed in matters about which I could not care less; this must be my fault. When so much is of blatant disinterest, something must be lacking in the ( Read more... )

I've been especially critical lately. For the past week or so, I've had no qualms with criticizing and ordering people around. I don't know if I'm less tolerant than usual or if people are simply being more imperfect. This is not to say I don't enjoy seeing displeasing aspects of others put right - I do suppose I'll feel some guilt about this ( Read more... )

I come home from Presidential Classroom and want nothing so much as to be home, eat and sleep and talk with everybody I've been missing...I find myself sitting in front of this stupid computer with just as much nothing in my head as before, it's like nothing ever happened, isolated incidents in some watery jenna's-life soup, and I know what I want ( Read more... )

All Alone.

aaaaaaaaaaaall alone.

First weekend night with my license, and I'm sitting around at home. Plus my eye itches like a sonofagun. I'm trying to play my guitar and not doing too well, sitting down to watch Friends and realizing I taped Extra by mistake on a account of my clock being off in my room, anticipating two more days of this. Ha-ha, look at me, not being able to ( Read more... )

I'm a stupid ass. Really. I love how I pick fights with people specifically so I won't have to think that they're ignoring me simply because I'm a boring person. Stupid, stupid. I love how I ruin things willfully so I won't have to admit to any inherent failings in my personality, never mind that that is one in itself.

Stupid.

God what an awful nightmare I had last night.

I'm having some troubles, I suppose I could start out by saying. But then, when aren't I? None of my problems matter, really, for several reasons. Either I'm feeling good and nothing can touch me because I'm Jenna, or I'm feeling not so hot and my petty troubles don't matter because I'm a waste anyway. How descriptive. Always, in this thing, I'm ( Read more... )

I felt super-relaxed yesterday. At night. During and after my shower, before I got into bed, and then the panic came back. Maybe it’s just my room. It’s a pretty claustrophobic place. Everything felt so ultrafine. I wish I could have that sort of contentment all the time. It was sweet. I’ve never known that feeling, ever. Like everything might not ( Read more... )