I think I gained all the weight back I lost. Oh well. What's new about that? Part of it is bc I've been having a bout of depression and not giving a shit anymore and part of it is bc of Monkey. Boy's so skinny I have to make sure he eats and I eat right along with him. I feel bad now too because he was over the other night and someone broke ( Read more... )

Sonny called. I didn't even recognize his voice. I'm like who is this? I should recognize the nyc area code by now. I can't believe he still calls me. I've known him forever. And he had always called me. Sometimes after a long period of time and a couple of fights, but still he would call. I wonder if he still has feelings for me. He's ( Read more... )

Fuckin dreams. I swear. I'm only telling this one bc as much as it irked me, it's funny as hell what i did. I have no idea what the dream was about, all i remember is that a newt and I can't remember the name of it, I just know it's one of the biggest newt's and endemic to Japan. Anyways. I dreamt a spider was "attched" to me and wouldn't let ( Read more... )

I had a dr's appt the other day. The dr's not pleased with the fact that i've lost 10 lbs in 5 days. She was all happy bc i had lost 5 since I last came in in the spring. I told her I lost 10 this week. She's like what? That's not good. That means your not going to sustain it. I wanted to say hey lady, I'm eating. I'm eating a hell of alot ( Read more... )

I had a dream where cops came into my house three mofo times searching for something and finding nothing. And would never tell me what. It was stressing me out in my dream world and my wake world. I bought a dreamer's dictionary ages ago and keep it in the bathroom. It's mostly for chuckles because I just want to know what it says. I do ( Read more... )

I actually smiled and laughed today. And not to be polite or to make someone laugh or feel good about themselves. I talked to and smiled at a coworker when i saw him in the food court (and no I wasn't flirting he's a very happily married man). I kept on smiling after I walked away too. It felt good. A plain ol' smile hasn't felt good in a long ( Read more... )

My type ( Read more... )

This the qoute I wish could tell some folks at work. Hell, I wish I could tell this to every black man that's pissed about things that they DO have control over if they did something about it instead of blaming everything on the "white" man or on their place in life. Some people just have to work harder than others. I definately was not a math ( Read more... )

Oh hell the fuck nah!

Ah geez. Why do I have to be so emotionally charged? ANSWER: Cause I always have. Paul and I have had several conversations since saturday. I did most of the talking of course. I'm better at it I guess. What it all comes down to is we both feel the same, it's just that he said it first. The friendship between us is there but something is ( Read more... )