WTF! Why is it I want what I can't have. It's KILLING ME! How can I say one thing, but I go after something else? I am SO fuckin PISSED at myself right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to visit my mommalicous yesterday. The woman kicked me out before I was even ready to go. Dang woman. We talked about what we usually talk about. She wanted to know when I was getting a bf/man/husband....in which I proceded to tell her I just broke up with yet another one...wait he broke up with me....she told me for the millionth time ( Read more... )

I just feel so cursed.

I had a dream this morning that I finally said (or he finally said) good bye.

Felling like a worthless piece of shit. I'm just not going to do it anymore. I don't know how it started or who it started with, but it's not going to happen anymore.

Ok. I have this guy telling me, for me to get a guy, I have to play those stupid ass games. Which i used to do...and on top of that, I was a complete bitch. I had the little boys stumbling over themselves to get to me. Flowers delivered. Everything paid for. It was lovely. I'm not going to lie. But it was wrong. Wrong for me and treating ( Read more... )

I'm really hating my dreams. I had another dream that Nate was back. And back in my life. 2nd one in the last couple of months. It bothers me bc I'm trying to get over this. Trying to have it not hurt. Those types of dreams don't help. And I'm not even sure if it's one of my prediciting dreams or one of my hoping dreams. *sigh* Wish I wasn' ( Read more... )

So last week I had a dream that i feel in love, which at first made me all giddy but then it ended up saddening me again. Then a few days ago, I dreamt about Nate. I dreamt that we were back together again. I don't like it when i have dreams like that. And then yesterday on the way home, I heard (and of course I can't remember the name of the ( Read more... )

I dreamt that I fell in love again. I hate when hope sends me something more powerful than the everyday things. I couldn't see his face so I have no clue what he looks like. Hopefully the dream won't take over 20 years to come into flurition. There were some bad parts to the dream. The dream was just craazy as usual. In the dream I was running ( Read more... )

Crazy crazy crazy! So I saw Paul today. Cooked for him. I dont' think he liked it today:). He usually texts me if he does. Indian food. I told him curry. I think he was thinking Thai...which is a little bit different. We talked for a bit when I got up there. Showed him my poor boo boo from when he "made" me get drunk. And I told him how I ( Read more... )