This post is a little different as I want to track my start and hold myself accountable. The weight gain recently has been insane and I realize more and more how tied this is to my feeling of self worth. My mood swings have been very pronounced and quickly changing and while I’m still pretty sure there’s something medically going on, I’m meeting a ( Read more... )

I’m sad. Big sad ( Read more... )

I have never been in a DDLG dynamic / relationship and didn’t think I wanted one. I was very very wrong. The level of comfort and trust required is pretty intense but the full let go is amazing. This is becoming so much more than either of us thought in the beginning. I was looking for a virtual dynamic with a strong Dom who could reel in my chaos ( Read more... )

Life is kinda crazy. It’s either feast or famine sometimes. Reconnected with someone from waaaaay back and not sure that it’s wise but oh well. New friends, new adventures, new habits . . . No wonder I have pulled a tower card every time I have done a self reading lately. It’s chaos and exhausting and wonderful and exhilarating ( Read more... )

What’s a perfect ending to 2 nights with Sir and getting collared? Getting to take your aftercare snack with you!


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I am enjoying this new dynamic. Maybe it’s his experience level, or the personality, or witchcraft (pretty sure it’s that one), but I can see that I am being programmed. Is it scary that someone can be in my head? Yes! Is it enticing and something new to explore? Also yes ( Read more... )

Screw this adulting nonsense! I’m roller skating in the living room! Lol

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I revisited the page of someone who said pretty hurtful things about me and now I’m pissed all over again. Should I have revisited? Nope, and I know that. Guess I was feeling like a glutton for punishment this morning ( Read more... )

Met my new Sir in person for the first time today. It went really well and I think this journey is going to be an exciting one.

I’m hoping so because I’m tired of hoping and trying to find exactly what I’m looking for.

Made a decision, then backed up to reevaluate, and now I feel stuck. I don’t know what the right answer is. I’m unsure about hitting the mark and being able to satisfy certain requirements since my life is ok to do that now, but not always. It’s like making a promise to pay back a loan and then losing your job. Do you take the loan if you think you ( Read more... )