I'm walking away. This relationship with Dave is a repeat of my history with abusive men. I feel like ther's no one to turn to. My dealer always answers the phone. The police and paramedics were just here. They said they couldn't help me except to put him in jail. I don't want to do that right now. Yet if I leave I'm back "out there". With ( Read more... )

Great friggin party, found my costume which I thought was stolen, many other things are missing. My roommates conveniently have to make an emergency trip to the eaton centre when the house needs to be cleaned. Dave is sick in bed. Me? Sick? What sick? Me have americano--me no sick ( Read more... )

It was that bitch on the streetcar. She ruined it all. I go to ask her where she got her eyebrows done and she was a total snotty bitch. I am so tired of feeling ugly, of having to compete with women who have unattainable beauty. I don't want women like that in my life, I feel horrible just knowing they exist and I'm not one of them. Things ( Read more... )

Wow, I haven't posted in here in forever but I have to vent. I'm so pissed at myself right now, where do I start? I'm overwhelmed with problems that are all in my head but they're damn persistent! All my life I've been scared and intimidated by people, particularly beautiful, successful people, particualrly women and FUCK can I get some privacy ( Read more... )

Strangely, a few people who have wronged me in the past are now trying to contact me. I have no idea why...I have new associations, new friends, why would I want to go backwards with people who've done nothing good for me? I'm okay with where I am and where I'm going right now.

joe's here lying on my bed watching family guy. he does the same freaking thing every time he comes over. he won't go to the art gallery opening with me or even a meeting. he wouldn't even take me to the stag shop today. i took him to missbehavin'? He stood there reading the adult humour cards the whole time! We're gonna have to start having ( Read more... )

GodDAMMit I can't stop smokin crack for longer than 3 days! Pathetic...Joe was gonna take me to lululemon shopping for gym clothes and i fucked up smokin crack again. but i'm lucky...he's stil loves me, even though i made him wait at the eaton centre until they closed...

life is what you believe it to be.

just bought a new book : Junky by Will Burroughs. Living with my mom is bugging me to no end. Heroin is a constant problem. I can't make my webcam work. My liver isn't working anymore. I love Joe. He's a bright shining star in my life right now. I'm applying for Trebas. I hate being on methadone. I want a joint. I want to go blonde. Get ( Read more... )

I just was passed out in front of the computer in my chair with the radio talking and she was taking requests...I thought of requesting Hurt by Johnny Cash. A guy phoned and requested it! It's playing right now. He requested it because his wife just left him. Joe dumped me last night, by phone. The last time he's going to do that to me ( Read more... )