life makes no sense...every last smile is meaningless and every last sorry makes nothing ok...Dj and I broke up today, adn life seems to feel like tis over...I don't think I;ve ever felt so much like slitting my wrists...Juts one trickle of blood...Just one delicate line dancing acrss my arm...oh, what a beautiful thing...How am I supposed to feel ( Read more... )

Heeeeey love ( Read more... )

Suicide...The wrong wy to go???A permanant solution to a never ending problem. That's what no on says. No one cares if your hurting so bad that you want to let go. They say it's a sign of one's weakness, but in my case, it's a sign of absolute power. If you really think about it, how many people can really think the unthinkable?They say we all ( Read more... )

I've been thinking about suicide again...I dunno where to turn...DJ is on the other side of the country and I can't talk to him...I've been thinking about what life would be like without him, and I realize that it would be meaningless...I hate myself, I ahte my body, I hate my life...Why can't I be pretty and skinny like all the girl in the ( Read more... )

That thing was true...Oh so very true...haha, not really....I think..

Well...whats next? I got my license, I'm in love with a precious boy, and I'm still misserable. My heart is telling me to be happy, but my mind is killing my slowly. I don't know how I can help myself, I dunno, maybe it's just, but I feel lie no one really listens to me anymore. I feel like every word I say is just a fallen word that spilled outof ( Read more... )

I'm finally getting my license today!!! Six and a half hours left!!! YAY! I think things are doing better now. Me and DJ talked and in some ways I feel like I still dunno what I want, but as long as we're together, I know I'll be ok. Next sunday it'll be 7 months, and then we only have 2 months left after that...before I move...I feel bad for ( Read more... )

SO what do I do? EVERYTHING, seems to be drving me crazy, me and DJ have been fighting a lot lately or so it seems. He always thinks I'm mad at him or I'm going to leave him. SOMetimes I feel like hes never even listens to what I say. I love him with all my heart and I feel like lately he doens't trust me very much. I dunno how I am supposed to ( Read more... )

So I've been up since 3:00 this morning arguing with DJ. We finally made up and he went to sleep around 5:45, but some of the things he said really hurt. I dunno, like I love hime so much, and I would give up anything for him. But I dunno what to do anymore. WHy does life have to be so confuseing when you feel like your dissapointing everyone. I ( Read more... )

So here I am, just another day. Do you ever feel so scared of something happening that yoou dwell on it and it consumes you? I know Donnie's back in town, and it scares me shitless. I dunno if he's gonna come find me and want to talk to me, or come find and be pissed at me, or maybe hell just leave me alone. I just want to be left alone. Is that so ( Read more... )