Mostly Harmless (Claude/Bennet)

[fantasticpants]

Title: Mostly Harmless (AKA The Obligatory Though Very Time-Inappropriate Morally Grey Christmas Fic)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Claude/Bennet
Spoilers: For Company Man
Summary: Santa Hats, Jail Cells, Revenge, and Porn
Notes: This started as a ficlet for cerebel's Sekrit Cabal Ficlet Battle and ended up... not quite that, what with it being a bit over 9K and all

Comments

[curtainpull]

Oh God, this is actually the greatest slash story that has ever been written ever! Favourite lines, and there are a LOT:

Right. I'm off. Enjoy your absence of fun."

Apparently Bennet had the secret ability of turning simple words into ninjas.

Then again, Alaskan sex lines might be a bit frozen this time of year.

'Dear Mission Report: Today was a pretty damn rotten day. Trailed heinously unattractive subject, got into a bar brawl by acting like a right pervert, spent the night getting lovingly fondled in jail, unexpectedly shagged my partner's brains out but got nothing in return because said partner is a selfish, resentful bastard. Love, Noah'?"

One, one bleeding misstep, and he'd opened the door to Doctor Who ass magic.

Love all the Douglas Adamas references too! God, this story rules.

[fantasticpants]

greatest slash story that has ever been written ever

Hee, that's a very lovely compliment, thank you so much! And thank you for pulling those quotes - those are some of my favorite lines too. I especially feel a big sense of personal accomplishment for managing the words 'Doctor Who ass magic' in a fic. And Douglas Adams deserves all the references in the world... Anyway, so glad you like it, thanks! :D

[veetvoojagig]

Your stories are always incredible. That was amazing. I love you. Have I told you that recently?

Oh, and considering that my username is FROM the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I obviously loved all that stuff. *Winks*

[fantasticpants]

Thanks! And I think I can live with multiple love declarations. :P

Glad you liked the Hitchhiker-y stuffs! I'm just happy I could find a use for a Hitchhiker ref in a title.

[veetvoojagig]

*love love love*

I actually had Bennet modify a quote from it in my exchange piece (which I am working on right now, by the way).

[fantasticpants]

*Harbors love and puts it in a nuclear shelter for devious future use*

Heh, Bennet would so quote HGTTG. Bet he could recite Vogon poetry, too. *cheers for your exchange fic!*

[susied23]

I watched Company Man last night (it'd been a few days, I needed my fix ;) ) and now I get a lovely Claude/Bennet fic involving jail cells and Santa hats. I am very happy. Great work.

[fantasticpants]

Company Man can never be watched enough. ;) Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the Santa hatness, since the whole fic is partially your fault. :D

[susied23]

I am fine taking blame for this one. lol. I got watch and cap youngJack being all jerky and half-naked and in brawls so I enjoyed it. Heh. :)

Company Man is just the best. I think I enjoy it more every time I watch it.

[fantasticpants]

Heh yes, watching jerky half-naked brawly young!Jack is hardly a chore...

How's your Sandra/Bennet fic writing going, btw?

[proleptic_fancy]

Your Claude/Bennet fics are always amazing, but this one was just incredible. Between the Santa hat, the utterly perfect Claude voice, and 'Doctor Who ass magic,' I couldn't stop laughing. Lovely work!

[fantasticpants]

Thank you so much! I'm really happy you enjoy my Claude/Bennet stuff - it's by far my favorite pairing and I wish fandom had more of a taste for it... Claude-voice is always insane fun, and I think Doctor Who ass magic ought to be a tagline for something.

[dref22]

Harmless? This is probably the biggest insult Bennet's ever received. LOL!

He was about to get gruesomely murdered by bloody Santa Claus. Brilliant

Bennet managed to scare him. At last! LOL!

I, too recently watched Company Man ep (maybe for the 25th time?) and when I read your Claude/Bennet fics, I always want to to watch it again. This is strange really, I wasn't a big fan of Claude/Bennet before, your fics really changed my thoughts. And this one is definitely one of the best.

[fantasticpants]

Oh yes, that is a grave insult indeed, though I somehow suspect Claude would've eventually found a way to top that, too.

Santa!Bennet has a naturally unnerving presence, I should think, so not even Claude can ignore that.

And thank you so much! That's really great to hear, about changing your mind about Claude/Bennet. I adore the pairing and it really deserves more love. Glad you enjoyed the fic! :D