Mostly Harmless (Claude/Bennet)

[fantasticpants]

Title: Mostly Harmless (AKA The Obligatory Though Very Time-Inappropriate Morally Grey Christmas Fic)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Claude/Bennet
Spoilers: For Company Man
Summary: Santa Hats, Jail Cells, Revenge, and Porn
Notes: This started as a ficlet for cerebel's Sekrit Cabal Ficlet Battle and ended up... not quite that, what with it being a bit over 9K and all

Comments

[ricestorm]

Nice job with the porn! Although the pom-pom made me cringe out loud, eww. But I absolutely agree, there were so many quotes of awesome here, and I snickered especially hard at the dartboard rigging! Oh Bennet.

One, one bleeding misstep, and he'd opened the door to Doctor Who ass magic.
I suddenly want to rewrite the lyrics to Spanish Castle Magic xD

[fantasticpants]

Thank you! It was my first time attempting NC17, so I'm glad it turned out okay. And yeah... pom-poms are less than ideal for that. XD And I'm sure Bennet would've exposed a whole dartboard rigging ring, given the time.

*snort* A Doctor Who Ass Magic song would be epic.

[tessykins]

I am at a complete loss of words to describe the awesomeness of this fic. The only thing I can say is that this may be the awesomest thing in the whole world, nay the whole universe, nay the fuckin MULTIVERSE.

I'd quote you my favorite lines, but it's rude to quote a whole fic.

[fantasticpants]

Yay multiverse supremacy! Does it come with free food?

Anyway thank you so much! I'm really happy you enjoyed it. :D Santa hat abuse works so nicely for these two...

[tessykins]

Not if I have to cook. :D

I think abuse in general works.

[bordosnoopy]

Loved the jail-fondling, the paperclip and the whole Bennet-Claude thing and everything. Wonderful fic!

[fantasticpants]

Thank you so much! Couldn't have Bennet in a jail cell and no have him molested a little bit, now could I? Glad you liked. :D

[entangled_now]

You already know that I adore this ridiculous amounts! It's exactly the right blend of humour, fighting and filth, and it works perfectly!

I feel compelled to quote more stuff, damn my need to quote!

He liked the constant challenge between them, the pushing and prodding. It was pure tension, elastic and ever-morphing. Sometimes it seemed like the only right way to be.

See this is exactly right, this is Claude/Bennet at its most entertaining, and its most interesting, and I love that you can write it!

[fantasticpants]

Thank you for the multiple comment-stuffs! You make me feel much better about my fossilized state. :D

I have no objections to your need of quoting, none whatsoever! And yes, perfect harmony never quite works for them (and is frankly just boring), they need to be at least passively making an effort to get under each other's skin, or engage in morally grey spanking.

[indyhat]

"We're on a mission, Claude. I'm not going to get drunk."

I know this is a relatively mundane line to pick, but I just enjoy watching them do their thing, regardless of context. You just nail it :)

"I am not gay," insisted the deformed leprechaun vehemently.

BEST. LINE. EVAR.

Doing hard time? Anyone claim your lily-white arse yet?

<3 Claude. And Bennet's lily-white arse ^_^

Bennet, while having deemed it fit to remove the Santa coat and boots, and strip to his undershirt, made no such adjustments to the fluffy red trousers, nor for, strangely enough, the hat.

This is hot and disturbing. Mainly disturbing :P

a sodding plush anthropologist.

Love for this line.

"If I'd known you were this much fun under influence, I would've spiked your coffee more often."

The Claude/Bennet/coffee OT3 continues! Now featuring drunken!coffee. And then drunken!Bennet.

Surely quoting Elvis at him would help Bennet find his path into the light? He'd heard it worked on more than a few Americans.

XD

not because he was naturally thrilled about

[indyhat]

... jeez, that was a spamtastic comment! Sorry. >.

[fantasticpants]

Sorry I totally forgot to answer this! Thank you so much for the spamtastic comment, it means a lot. :)

I know this is a relatively mundane line to pick, but I just enjoy watching them do their thing, regardless of context.

I know, their routine dynamic and banter is really enjoyable to write really, slashy or not, makes me think they could easily pwn a spinoff series and also makes me kinda wanna write something huge in Company Years. They so deserve it.

Bennet's lily-white a$$z is quite claimable, maybe Claude could tattoo it for keeps? Might be a bit awkward with Sandra though.

This is hot and disturbing. Mainly disturbing :P

I think Bennet cherishes disturbing in his hot! He wouldn't have it any other way.

The Claude/Bennet/coffee OT3 continues! Now featuring drunken!coffee. And then drunken!Bennet.

The next stage is evil mutant coffee, clearly. It's only a matter of time...

Figures that Claude will defy Bennet in almost all ways possible (and some impossible), but this undoes him.They're just intensely adept at getting

[indyhat]

Oh, 'grief, don't worry about not answering :)

makes me think they could easily pwn a spinoff series and also makes me kinda wanna write something huge in Company Years. They so deserve it.

They totally could, and you should, and they do! I'd love it if you wrote a big Company years fic. HUGE.

LOL@ the idea of Claude tattooing Bennet's lily-white ass. Yeah, I think Sandra might have something to say about that. Maybe it's an invisible tattoo?

They're just intensely adept at getting under each other's skin, knowing all the weak spots. Would be pretty damn painful if they actually wanted to hurt each other, y'know? But that's what post-shooting is for. :DFor some reason, this has given me the mental phrase "the rug burn that dare not speak its name". Make what you will of that :P And yeah, if someone's firmly under your skin then when you hurt them, you make an ass out of you ... or something