There are three emotions that take control of me. first there is the depression then there is the manic and the worse one of all is when there both mixed together. Ive tried to explain over and over again what it feels like to have these emotions that effect me mentally and physically. When im manic im happy im very happy. i talk really fast and i ( Read more... )

i wanted to watch a movie today. So I watched a movie that ive seen before. at first i wanted to watch it because i remember it being a good movie. I watched the sixth sense. at the begining of the movie i had a different emotion but my emotioned changed at the ending...I dont want people to suffer i dont want people to be scared. i dont want them ( Read more... )

I just got back in from benns house. We watched the pistons game and had some food and he spoiled me to a couple twinkies. oh well i got to sink them in my milk. When I went to benns which is somewhat far i noticed i didnt have any of my medications. no morning afternoon or night plus my sleeping pill. I felt so horrible the rest of the night. ive ( Read more... )

yesterday was fucked up. first off im using this screen name ABOYANDHISGUITAR because i havent used it in a while and i like the name. yesterday I did something very dangerous to my health im not going to say on here what it is because theres a lot of people on this buddy list and theres no fucking way im going to the hospital cause what i did is ( Read more... )

man did i just do something stupid

Im listening to radiohead right now. when im depressed I tend to listen to them. I dont know if its that there music is depressing or just so beautiful it makes me want to cry. I just cant get myself out of my room and out of my bed except for writing this. just another day of hiding deep in to my covers and crying histerically until it fades away ( Read more... )

Well its three twenty right now. I woke up at like ten in the morning and it took me till about one o clock to officially get out of my bed. not off to a good start today. I made an apoitment to see my psychiatrist for next week on wendsday. when i first started taking medications I didnt stick to it I really didnt beleive in taking medication like ( Read more... )

I was talking to someone earlier someone I didnt expect to hear from in awhile or ever. Im not going to say friend because I still dont know if she wants to call me that. anyways I wanted to make something clear. Even know I smoked a bowl a very little bowl about two hits thats all I needed to realzie why I stopped in the past so many months ago. ( Read more... )

Some day. all that my family is saying all day is fuck this fuck that fuck you or whatever. everyone is screaming. im in my room right now my dad is making stuff on the grill. everyones yelling at eachother with the windows open as usuall. I played my classical guitar outside today for about two hours. I got really sun burned today and yesterday i ( Read more... )

Man have i been trying to get a job. I just called up moosejaw a bit ago. ive been to petco, office depot, office, max, cirtuict city, best buy, durst lumber, borders and even some shitty bagel store. actually there are some others and a couple of these other stores I just mentioned I just walked in and looked around haha. Ive had some hard stuff ( Read more... )