(Untitled)

[favouriteyear]

I had this argument with someone in RL the other day, so Feminist rant coming up.About how in some ways, I'm a "typical" feminist (notice use of quotes) and in some ways I'm an anti-thesis of it, ergo, I'm not one.

I disagree entirely:

Comments

[cursedfire]

I don't consider myself as a feminist mostly because ı lack a good deal of information about the issues. I agree with some of your statements. You are right about getting married and what your society expects from you.
For example, in my country, a woman is expected to be a virgin until she gets married and I sometimes hear about men who killed their wives or got divorced because they weren't virgins in the news. The past is past, right? It is the way of thinking here and some women approve it, too.
I have no problem with chivalry. I see it more of a tradition. Let's face it. Women are more fragile than men physically. I wouldn't take it bad if my boyfriend tried to put his coat over my shoulders in rain for example or open my doors or pay my food. I would think "wow, this guy wants to take care of me, not that I need him, so he likes me?" That's one way of looking at it.

[favouriteyear]

"wow, this guy wants to take care of me, not that I need him, so he likes me?" That's one way of looking at it.

I agree.

But I find myself unable to look at it that way. But like I said, it all depends on your point of view.:)

In our country too we have "honour" killings of women. Women only, mind you. What about men who aren't virgins when they get married? No one talks about that.

[cursedfire]

What about men who aren't virgins when they get married? No one talks about that.

...and it is sort of appreciated, too. A man being all casanova-ish.

[flvy]

I HATE the label of feminist it makes most people think of horrible amazonian hairy ugly women who are obnoxious and would just punch out any man for the hell of it.

I think real feminism is being able to choose what's right for you. It doesn't mean looking down on women who choose to get married and run a house hold, or holding women with careers at a higher standard.

I'm a girly girl, I do love to watch and play sports and go camping but to look at me you'd never guess that. I'd love to get married have kids and take off work to raise them (money willing). That's me though, that's what I want for me and I wouldn't expect that to be right for any other women or person.

You know?

Though I do like the whole opening doors deal, I expect it. I take it as a respect thing though not a demeaning one. Seriously you have a guy waiting on you hand an foot. Chivalry works for me. ;0)

[favouriteyear]

I do know. Essentially Feminism is about choosing for yourself. To do what you want, not because it's expected of you.

If Chivalry works for you..it works for you. ;)

[flvy]

It works for me I don't expect it to work for everyone else.

I think that view is more feminist in nature than a lot of what people think are feminist views.

[favouriteyear]

It is. It is exactly what I've always believed Feminism as an ideology to strive to promote. "Choice".

Like for me, marriage and kids, are not something that's high on my list of priorities. But, what I don't like is, people telling me, it's because I'm feminist I don't want either of those two. Yes, I'm a feminist but those two things are much lower on my list of things I want to do with my life, than say, writing a book or travelling a world or something?

You know?

[scoobydumblonde]

I agree with _love_never. Feminism isn't what most people see as feminism. Feminism is about making sure women have the right to choose what they want in their own lives, whether it's getting married or not, having babies or none, choosing what happens to their body, whether they work or stay at home (mind you, if married), whether they go for that high powered, well paid job or not. It's not about hating men or wishing they'd all disappear. It's about equal pay for equal work (which is the only reason I don't think the women's tennis should be making as much as the men at gs, they don't play as many matches, therefore it's NOT equal work

[favouriteyear]

I agree with you about equal pay for equal work. You're absolutely right.

The thing about women's tennis. You know, personally I agree with what Venus Williams does as a campaigner for Women's Rights (since she was the lead proponent of equal prize money)

But in particular about equal prize money I really avoid taking a stand either way, because both sides have valid arguments (at least to me) so I don't say anything about it at all.

Okay, I get what you're saying about your father.Honestly, it isn't something I really considered.

I also expect a guy to walk through a door I'm holding open for him.

That's a fair assumption to make. And I can see what you're trying to say.

[favouriteyear]

I would never do that. lol. Slap someone on the face for it.

It's interesting you should say that men and women are not equal. Because there's a growing body of feminists/scholars who believe that men and women are different but complemtary.

But I understand what you're trying to say.

it really depends on the person and the context the whole thing is in.

I always say that, because, my brother for example,would hold the door open for anyone, especially if they're older than him, as a mark of politeness and respect. But like scoobydumbldone pointed out rightly above, that the issue of chivalry should work both ways you know? I would expect a man, who was walking with me for example, to walk through the door before me if I held the door open, or opened the door, because that is really only me being polite. And the same would work both ways.

But in general, I've noticed that my issues with chivalary are rather complicated, situational, contextual, and completely subjective....

You know?

[tasha87]

Um, did I bring this on? Or was it someone else?

I also think, that sometimes chivalry is contextual
Well, for me, it's simple: I don't need you to open the door for me, I'm not hurt if you don't open the door for me; do I like it when you open the door for me? Sure! Is that an extension of patriarchy? Maybe, I don't know.

IMO, something like opening the door isn't a big deal. If my friend who happens to be a guy, on the flip side, pays for every one of my meals, every time we go out, yes, that I would have a problem with. Not because it's condescending or anything, but I think it's sometimes unfair to the guy.