wow..i am feeling really odd lately. i am in such a haze. i am running on instinct alone. i can't sleep i can't eat..i thought i was going to handle this sorta ok...i tried to tell myself that..but i am so not handling this very well. i am in some deep shit mentally and it's about to hit the fan. wow!

i know he is moving out tomorrow, but i still can't believe it. i am still and will be stunned for a ong time. just when i think i can get through a night witout crying or thinking of him..here it comes. i miss him so damn much. a lot of my friends say..fay get on with it..forget avbout him you deserve better and i don't think so..i think i was ( Read more... )

my life sucks right now. i try to present to the world this all together capable person and i am so fallin apart. i am numb. i can't believe this is happening. i know it is, but i still can't believe it. i know that i had a lot to do with my life being where it s right now, but i am still numb. i miss him so badly ...every second of the day. i ( Read more... )

i have tried to get him to change his mind and just like getting him to talk to me these past months..he is having none of it. he is packing up and moving out. i will be moving back into our apartment oct. 1st, but he won't be there. this really sucks. he never even gave us a chance to work it out. i feel like these past few months of seperation ( Read more... )

everybody hear that...that is the sound of my heart tearing from my chest. i amgoing inthe other room now so my husband can tell me that we are through...i can't believe this.

my brother got arrested yesterday in NH on a felony warrant from South Dakota..his bail is $100,000..my parents are in England and I am in Seattle..with everything else going on right now..I'm kinda freakin' out

there were a couple of things that made the past few days pretty tolerable...gwen and meeting alaina on the bus. alaina was my favorite roommate from boston. she was the only roommate that i had there..and i had a bunch..that was actually my friend and hung out with me. her and her girl took me out tonight and we had the best time. i didn't stop ( Read more... )

every now and then when i breath it brings back all the pain that i thought i might be past..guess not. i can't seem to get drunk enough to make this ok...it is what it is but its not ok.

way cool. i just ran into my favorite roommate ever on the bus. When i lived in boston i lived in a lot of places and had a lot of roommates, but alaina giesbrecht was absolutely my favorite roommate. i actually enjoyed hanging out with her. well onmy way home from my job interview this morning she got on the same bus as me. i went back and sat ( Read more... )

so i got this really cool job in seattle. it is only part time, but i am pretty sure i have the other job i was going for as well...though the parameters of the job have changed a bit.instead of being a night supervisor i may wind up doing day production...it starts kind of early though and i am not sure that i really want to get back into that ( Read more... )