newfound guilt.

Aug 31, 2003 18:56

i'm starting to feel that urge to cut off all my ties to hawaii. i mean, i love you guys, but it seems that all our conversations ever bring forth is this ugly bitterness inside me ( Read more... )

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Comments 9

psuedo_kiss September 1 2003, 00:29:58 UTC
cheer up girl. find happiness there. <3 the bitterness will fade in time.

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feministicynic September 1 2003, 01:40:42 UTC
indeed, it will.

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Life swimdude207 September 1 2003, 00:59:24 UTC
I hope that you find a way to stop the drama. That's what I want to. I'm actually setteling into a ME that I really like. I have eight rings, three bracelets, the studs from you, an earcuff, three necklaces (one of which is a moodring type cross necklace), and pink collar with inch long black spikes. All my clothes come from hottopic and yet I'm still maintaing my good grades and my clubs and my singing/piano lessons. I believe that I have settled in my foundation of religion and can only grow there. I like the new me and especially the new punk me. yet there is always that drama the you are talking about. I wonder if we here in hawaii subconciously creat these soap operas because we live in a rock in the middle of the ocean where the most exciting thing since you left has been that the bus drivers went on strike. Reality is slow and sucks so maybe without thinking, we locals create interesting lives. I'll have to try and stop doing that, for you and for me. Well those are my thoughts ( ... )

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Re: Life feministicynic September 1 2003, 04:38:15 UTC
well, i'll be sure to e-mail them.

i have found a way to stop the drama. and that is to live my life here and stop thinking so much about hawaii. and i really believe that the day when i'll get to do that is well on its way. i've already started my life here and i'm happier here. i did love you, but life took us in two different directions ( ... )

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lil_ole_me September 1 2003, 11:09:50 UTC
i don't think any of this sounds crazy. in fact it all sort of makes sense to me, in a veauge sense of the way. i do think some of the drama we creat in out lives, is just so that we don't seem dull. therefore we tend to create certain "soap operas" to spice things up.

i think that u deserve to be happy, where ever you are, and u should do what it takes to get that. you shouldn't linger in the past, but instead kinda make way for the good the future has in store for us all. [corny thing my parents tell me, but it cheers me up a lil] good luck on your journey to happiness.
~nikki~

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feministicynic September 1 2003, 11:38:47 UTC
thanks, mija.

yeah, i just need to pursue life and try to enjoy it.

and sometimes you've gotta make room for the happy things in life, i guess. or, at least, start to back away from the things that only bring you grief, you know?

i just want to have my life back and be happy. i don't think that that is too much to ask. after all, the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, yeah? lol...don't know where that came from.

love ya, kid.

mandy

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lil_ole_me September 2 2003, 02:51:56 UTC
lol... yeah i see. sometimes to pursue happiness ya just gotta give on all the griefs of the world. especially since the grief's can take over so quickly. and of course, you have "your rights" to pursue. happiness is important, especially to keeping some type of sanity...
love ya too,
~nikki~

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Hey... anonymous September 2 2003, 03:25:18 UTC
Don't worry Mandy...You'll find happiness, just don't try so hard to look for it...it might run away. That always happens...

<3 - Zena

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hey mandy! anonymous September 2 2003, 07:44:28 UTC
aww... don't cut ties wit yer hawaii buddies!!! what about your new buddy!! MEEH! lol... well you can always think imma from cali or... something... hahaha... well i hope things are better for you... i havent talked to you in sooo long... i MISS you!!!!! =( yah... imma trying to get mai happy days back... cuz i cant seem to get it right now... i've finally realized that i NEED to get over tyrone NOW or i never will... imma already stuck in the deepest of the deepest love.... and i need to get maiself out before its too late... i'm almost stuck... so i guess now is the time for me to struggle out... i'm SLOWLY trying to stop mai tears and try to smile more and forget him... he tells me he loves me but he never sez it to me anymore... and imma sick of hurting... so imma just gonna cut mai ties wit him... it's better that way... cuz i don't wanna deal wit him... i don't know if any of this relates to how you feel... but you and i usually understand each other... lol so i hope i can make you feel better!!!! SMILE MANDY! for the short time ( ... )

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