it has been approximately 13 years since i last posted here, but i am two glasses deep into a bottle of wine and i hit an orange cone trying to drive through the los angeles port tonight and after that almost hit a cyclist who yelled profanities at me even though he was wearing ALL BLACK with NO HEADLIGHTS, who you CALLIN' BITCH, BITCH ( Read more... )

it is almost worth suffering through the heat to enjoy the sight of innumerable neighborhood cats sprawled on their backs, paws at odd angles, airing their bellies in the summer sun.

for the record, i think the following things are really cute ( Read more... )

last night i met pockets' girlfriend's parents.

yeah, my cat totally has a girlfriend.

WAY TO GO, POCKETS!

my eye has been twitching now for four days consecutively AND my feet smell.

want to go on a date?

for your note, my house's livejournal, thegob, gets updated a lot more frequently than this here oft neglected online diary.

today it is may 30th, 2005. it is memorial day. it is eight o'clock ante meridiem and i have been awake for 1.5 hours ( Read more... )

just for the record, the cats and i are sick of this motherfucking stupid weather.

also: the ladies at the roost in los feliz stole my wallet and cell phone. i feel it is my duty to impair their future profits to the furthest extent possible. i am not below fist fights and/or petty vandalism. take note.

today is a tumultuous chaos of minor annoyances. the gas station attendant, woman on her cell phone, disgruntled caller and customer service woman can all go to hell. by my word, i shall never again visit the gasoline service station on the corner of temple and broadway, nor shall i order another "as seen on tv" gadget via the internet, regardless ( Read more... )

today i am pretending to be my friend in order to hit on her former boss (who is in his fourties and a partner in a law firm) via e-mail. it is the most interesting thing i have done all day ( Read more... )