well, at least you have good mood music in your head. heh, I wish there was more that I could do, but one person can only hear "I'm sorry" so many times... All I can offer is my friendship, and the knowledge that I will always be here for you.
There is no possible way to take what you've been through well.
Our children aren't supposed to die before us; it makes a mockery of logic. To ask someone to take that well would be like asking them to accept why the sun just didn't come out one day.
Don't feel pressured to take the crib down. Trying to move or hide the baby things to force yourself to "heal" probably isn't a good idea either.
yea im just not sure when i should be putting things away. part of me wants to just get rid of all of it and part of me wants to hang on to it.. hoping... dreaming... wanting.
Our children aren't supposed to die before us; it makes a mockery of logic. how so very true
Don't take down the baby stuff until you are absolutely ready. That was something told to me back in my grief beginning and it's only just now getting cleaned out, over a year later. Sometimes it's nice to have a place to go sit in to cry or just be still... a room that was meant for you baby. Don't get rid of *anything* until you are absolutely ready for it. I was thrilled yesterday to have the opportunity to smell the Dreft on my son's things. I remember months after his death, last year, when I was freaking out one night and searching frantically for one thing that smelled like him. Just one. I could not find anything. I was ripping through his closet smelling everything I could find and sobbing my heart out. This time I did it with a smile on my face and a raincloud in my throat
( ... )
i'm glad i got to know you on lj. you help make me realize im not alone in my grief. that there are people who understand this great big hole inside my spirit. for that i am thankful.
Ohhh I'm so glad you feel that way sweetie. I'm so sad when I find someone who understands my pain but glad at the same time. I don't wish it on anyone but it's nice for me to know I'm not all by myself in it too.
I have no idea how you feel, Lin. Part of me is glad I don't... another part of me almost wants to because then I could maybe say something more. I know you're tired of I'm sorry's, and I promise I won't say it because I know it's more annoying than helpful. I know how "deeply" you feel whatever it is that you're feeling though. And I can empathize with that deepness.... if that makes sense. I love you, Lin. One day you'll make the best Mommy a baby can have because you'll be loving two babies. :)
thank you. i really just want my baby ya know? part of me wants to beg gaib please please please lets have kids now. i want them now. i need them now.. but can i handle them now after what happened? i don't know?
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Be well and stay safe at least though.
shooman out
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Our children aren't supposed to die before us; it makes a mockery of logic. To ask someone to take that well would be like asking them to accept why the sun just didn't come out one day.
Don't feel pressured to take the crib down. Trying to move or hide the baby things to force yourself to "heal" probably isn't a good idea either.
*hugs*
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Our children aren't supposed to die before us; it makes a mockery of logic.
how so very true
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i wish you and i didnt have to hurt so much.
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