slowly but surely the days are getting better. however, i miss being with her more than ever right now. she says she wants to be friends and i'm trying so hard to make it possible. sometimes its tough. its always tough. lately i haven't been eating much of anything. i've been giving away my lunch, haven't eaten much of a breakfast, forcing ( Read more... )

jeff..
i just got back from watching you cruise to victory at jamesville. you looked great, smooth and in control. i tried to find you afterwards but you were enjoying the moment with your teammates.
i hope we can figure a way to get you on our team here at Syracuse.
Good luck at states.
Take care,
Coach Fox

uhvanbytheriver: are you and kelly going to the soccer game?
OxBluSummerSkyxO: yupperss..im gonna freeze my tush off..lol..this is there sectional winning game to
OxBluSummerSkyxO: i sure hope they win

it feels like she's completely lied to me.

i won sectionals as a team. as an individual. i should be happy? why am i not anymore.

OxBluSummerSkyxO: okie dokie..we;ll see uhm my dad was atlking about a hockey game, and kelly was talking about a soccer game but they both arent deff. yet
uhvanbytheriver: oh.
OxBluSummerSkyxO: but id rather hang out w/you =]
uhvanbytheriver: =]

thats all i needed to hear. she just made my week.

today was pretty much one of the worst days of my young life. the end. oh yeah. i wrote a song on my life as it is today. it's depressing. what's new? another thing i've realized. i don't share my emotions with anyone. why might i ask. because when i do it brings everyone down and just creates problems. so i'll keep to myself.

i've realized that i post in here every time i feel depressed. and lately i've been posting quite often. thats probably not a good thing. i cried myself to sleep last night. waking up so far has been the worst part of my day. sometimes i wish i never woke up. we're reading the catcher in the rye in english and i can relate so much to the main ( Read more... )

i don't understand why i put so much emphasis on these soccer games. maybe its because she goes so far out of her way to make it to them. i just want her to be at one more race. i don't even care if she showed 5 hours late or could only stay for a minute i just want her there to feel support. i guess I'm asking too much. why am i crying right ( Read more... )

i don't know why i'm so uneasy about this. i trust her i know i do. i just don't trust him. or the fact that the two they are going to be with are gonna be preoccupied with themselves. i love her to much and i'm so afraid of being hurt its sickening. i've never fallen this hard for anyone. never felt this way about anyone. she is my ( Read more... )

she has no problem making it to every boys soccer game why can't it be the same for my home meets. she says she can't make it because her mom is going to her grandma's and she has kaylah's birthday party, but she's knowns for over a week. i don't think she understands how much she hurts me some time ( Read more... )

so how do things go from the complete worst to the complete best. i don't get it. why did we have to hit that low to make it this high? i can honestly say i'm in love with her and feel as if the feeling is almost mutual between us. it feels almost like when we first started dating when nothing could go wrong. i wish this would never change.