i wish i could stop crying.

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you walk that way, and i'll walk this way. horrible that i'm quoting this lyric. horrible. what have i come to?

this reminds me of a john updike short story called "separating." i feel this separation. i imagine peeling something off the wall, the glue clings to the paper, and they beg to keep a bit of each other. the paper rips a bit on the glue. ( Read more... )

fuck. i'm losing hope.

ripping up letters, cards, and anything else. wishing i was home. wishing i was with malcolm and danielle, in our existence ( Read more... )

I figured out how I feel at this present time ( Read more... )

Today I did absolutely nothing. I need to write and make a collage.
This eternal Minnesota winter really sucks me. I have this group of people in my life and they make me so happy, but this winter, this weather, this semester has been off to a rocky start.

For the next three hours of my night I want to be useful.

Stranger, and stranger.
Anxiety can envelope. Love and prayer can set free.

This happens to me. I start break wondering what the point of coming home is. I get frustrated with people and disappointed. I stay in my room making grand schemes of what to do with my time, and then I waste away with lethargy. Then things turn around. Home feels greater than a four letter word. And here I am right now, realizing I have a ton of ( Read more... )

i'm tired all the time and i don't care to make an effort. i finally got herbal drugs to help me sleep. i havent slept for years. which is surprisingly a true statement. actually, last time i got decent rest was during spring break last year.

i'm not excited. i hate getting in these moods. i just sit around depressed all day. 2008 was a good year